Written by Renae Failla

Around the world, lockdown and isolation continue with long term impacts of COVID-19 lurking, many are struggling to come to terms with what a COVID Normal will look like.

Tom Stodulka, named 2019 Australasian mediator of year is reinforcing messages of positivity in these challenging times. Contrasting COVID-19 to experiences of war, he reminds Australians of how we have overcome and survived what has been thrown at us. “Sometimes it is easy to forget that as a nation, we’ve survived wars, conflicts, depressions, and economic uncertainty all before COVID-19,” And stresses focusing on the small moments of positivity to help get us through “We should remember that life is about enjoying what we can in every single moment. Enjoy the world around you, because happiness is found in every single one of those moments, especially when you’re being active and creative.”

Tom is no stranger to life’s hardships, with his birth taking place in Bathurst 1951 in one of Australia’s post-WWII refugee camps after his parents fled Czechoslovakia in 1947 during a time of political unrest, while his older brother was born in a UN Displaced Persons Camp in Italy. His parents primarily spoke German in his childhood years which added an extra burden to his school years and English essay writing. Seemingly a very distant memory, Tom went on to study law, join the Royal Australian Navy and secure a full-time career as a mediator and facilitator.

He is now an inspiration to people all over Australian. With three reprints of his first book and the support of his loving wife and three children, Tom now hopes to spread messages of hope to Australians experiencing their own hardships.

His new book Life is a Dance, explores the way in which we are challenged as life unfolds but despite whatever is thrown our way, life is about enjoying what we can in every single moment. Hence, Life is a Dance, not a journey. 

So as we wake up each morning and type “Daily Coronavirus cases” in our Google Search Engine to read the news and lasting impacts COVID-19 is having around the world to determine when we will go back to work full time, when we will be able to see our family, ponder on when we will be able to leave the house without a mask, wonder when we will next be able to travel overseas… it’s important to find the positivity to enjoy that singular moment – Like the added time at home with a loved one, your newfound cooking skills, the opening of your new business or the introduction of a new exercise routine. Celebrate those small wins!

Tell us more about your latest book.

It’s exciting to have a second book out there called Life is a Dance it’s a follow on from a previous book that I wrote about 2 years ago called Storm Clouds and Silver Linings: My Journey and I thought rather than repeat the word ‘journey’ I would try and look at things from a different perspective and again look at things positively with ‘Life is a Dance’. Someone then said to me when they stumble they did part of a dance and I think that’s very positive.

Some people have asked me why the word dance and when you think of music and people’s need for entertainment and gaining some pleasure or joy often people meet in life through dancing, certainly in the old days – maybe not so much now but it’s nice to think of those concepts and those actions of people dancing. Whether they danced together, alone or in a group a lot of people are inspired by dancing – sometimes in a group running across cultures like for example Australian, Indigenous, European, African, Asian and South American so there is a cultural play in it too.

Fun fact: The cover of Life is a Dance features the backdrop of a painting of a Bush Fire scene that Tom’s Dad had painted in the 80s. He selected it as the cover of “Life is a Dance” as Australia was going through the intense bushfires last year when the book was being prepared for publication.

Can you tell us what inspires you to write poetry?

It’s something that is inspired by nature, our surroundings and people because the poems in both books are about people and about trees and the changes in weather and scenery. Many aspects of Nature are a given in our lives but its not always positive with storms, cyclones and droughts but there is always a perception that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

There’s a change in the seasons or a change in the weather. When you think of the terrible droughts across Australia a year ago and the bushfires and then it’s a very Australian thing to think of a return to a better result with sea change in the weather and people have been over the moon across the country to have their dams full again or to be able to grow plants and agriculture is thriving in many ways again thanks to the changes of the weather. There’s a connectivity between everybody and everybody in Australia is affected by the things that occur right across the country.

So many people have been looking for positives despite all the stresses that they have experienced. Just to hear today that all the kids are going back to school today in Victoria and its sort of like a new beginning for so many people – there’s an amazing hope again. There are some people who have really struggled with COVID and the lack of connection with their friends and family. As you may know, I am a mediator so I work a lot with families with conflict and dispute and that’s something that from working in the field you’re always looking at remaining positive.

With poetry, like music, there are so many ways to be creative in our world.

During the COVID-19 what has kept you inspired?

Always to think in a positive light (7.31) because magazines like yours that are real community literature, I’ve been reading those because magazines like that are able to pick up what’s happening in society and what people are doing, what’s inspiring people to keep going or do things differently. All these new ideas – fantastic new ideas like Food Services for people working in hospitals, they were really struggling to get their meals and to virtually keep going. These community incentives, community motivation and community-driven to feed thousands of people that are sort of futurists in a way whether its writers or musicians – some of these writers capture the moment noticing all the good things despite the stresses. One of these positives, for example, is the loads and loads of wattle that line this road in the Sunshine Coast.

I’m very inspired by people and what they are doing like the people living with very serious illnesses, these people that have lived through some of the most tragic experiences can come out being so positive. Like Turia Pitt for example or the lady that lives up in Sunshine Coast in Maroochadyre who had a fall doing some things around the house and it just didn’t put her off she just came back being stronger than ever before and that’s what can make life better for so many people.

I have developed this perspective as a mediator to work with the concept of a ‘glass half full’ so you can give it your best shot and get the people you are working with to adapt and adopt an idea or concept of looking at things which can be helpful.

Can you pick one of your most memorable poems and explain why?

On page 42 of my latest book Life is a Dance there is one that is dedicated to my writing teacher Linda Henderson. It was her amazing capacity to inspire and encourage people to recognise that they have actually got something to give by their writing. This poem talks to the influence of people around you which not only focuses on messages of hope like many of my other poems but is a different aspect of positivity.

Below is an excerpt from Life is a Dance:

Imagination and reflections 3 April 2018 by Tom Stodulka

The Commonwealth Games are about to begin.

Let the best win,

Let the other’s too enjoy the din.

And bask in the glory and the sun.

You fantasise many a thing,

What may it all bring?

Even one day a lotto win.

Reality lost, as reality is not always kind.

May even start playing on your mind.

And get you into a bind.

You try to be a cool dude.

Hopefully never rude.

Patience sometimes sorely tested.

Still staying in control.

Though not always very droll.

The drum may start to roll

Beating at your very soul.

The bell also may toll.

Sharing and caring are best.

As you ride high upon the eagle’s crest.

Full of zest.

Taken up to the very highest nest.

You still soar and conquer, but too often never rest.

Let the young give you a jolt,

Just like a young colt.

Give up some of that control,

As you accept, that you too may one day have to accept the dole.

Imagined for certain.

Just avoid the final curtain.

What’s next? And how has COVID-19 impacted your planning?

I’m hoping there might be a third book in the works. I have thought I might not be able to manage a third book with me writing less – I’ve only written 10 poems in the last year whereas previously I was writing 1 or 2 a week and I think COVID has had that slightly negative impact in some ways I should have more time but then works picking up again and there is a lot of working via zoom and phone and this completely different way of operating. The very nature of life has changed, there’s no more of that going out to have a coffee before meditation starts and that interconnection with people has been very important to my life.

The coffee culture has changed and all of a sudden we have lost that ability to meet up, we’re now so restricted and that can have an impact on you. That’s why it’s important to write about the positives.

To learn more about Tom or purchase his new book Life is a Dance for $24.99, head to his website.

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Written by Katie Moore

The benefits of reading are hugely impactful in many different areas of your child’s life, and not just in the classroom.

Reading builds your child’s imagination, increases their vocabulary and helps them develop critical social and communication skills that will prepare them well for later in life.

Reading can also help kids become more emotionally literate with both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ emotions. This in turn helps them become more open when it comes to talking about how they’re feeling. 

It’s obvious that reading can help your children in school, but studies have shown that it goes beyond mere English lessons. A UK study by the Institute of Education showed that reading for pleasure can increase a child’s cognitive development across many areas, including a 9.9% advantage in mathematics. 

Reading helps your child build wider knowledge about the world around them, exposing them to different cultures, perspectives and ideas from the comfort of their own home.

Reading helps your child build wider knowledge about the world around them, exposing them to different cultures, perspectives and ideas from the comfort of their own home.

On top of all that, reading gives your children a fantastic alternative to screens. This year, and with the on-set of the pandemic ourchildren – and ourselves – are spending more time than ever in front of a screen. Living, learning and evolving online.

We’d all love ourchildren to spend a little less time glued to a device or TV series, but it couldn’t be more important today, to make time for a book.

So, the benefits of reading are clear. But how can parents encourage regular reading and eventually foster a lifelong love of books?

Use this Book Week to re-introduce the habit of reading, whether that time is every day, before bed or even a specific time slot set aside each weekend; here are some simple tips and tricks to help make the activity a regular, enjoyable experience for your child.

Make it a regular activity

Reading regularly with children is very important. The minimum recommendation is to read a book a week with your children, however I believe that once a day is a better baseline to aim for. Build reading into your child’s everyday bedtime routine, and soon it’ll become as regular as brushing their teeth. 

Select the right book

Having the ability to select the right book seems to be an important factor in children’s excitement around reading: nearly three-quarters of kids aged 6–17 (74%) responded to a Scholastic Kids study to say that they would read more if they could find more books that they like.

In my own home, I foster my children’s love of reading by building excitement throughout the day. Each afternoon we select our bedtime book – one book for each child – and pop it on their beds. My children get so excited to narrow down their book selection that it makes it easier to get them to bed, because they know they have that specially selected book waiting for them. 

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Written by Renae Failla 

Warning: This article deals with the sensitive topic of suicide and mental health. If you (or someone you know) need support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 available 24/7. You can also text 0477 13 11 14 from 12 pm to midnight for support.

It’s no surprise that during the first stage of the COVID-19 pandemic, 78% of Australians have claimed their mental health was impacted.

(PLoS ONE, Acute mental health responses during the COVID-19 pandemic in Australia.)

The very real fact is that people have taken their own lives as a result of the pandemic crisis for an abundance of reasons, be it the loss of jobs, the closing of small businesses, halts to education, life milestones and isolation.

To coincide with World Mental Health Day, Torrens University and Beyond Blue have joined forces to run a free online short course exploring experiences of people living with depression and their journeys.

The four-week course will begin on Monday 26th October 2020 and is titled Understanding Depression: Learning from Lived Experience. While the course is presented by Torrens University lecturers, those who partake will also get to hear directly from people who have lived with depression as well as Beyond Blue representatives.

Kath Curry, General Manager of Health and Education at Torrens University comments “We talk a lot about mental health, but sometimes it can be difficult to know how to support someone from the outside looking in.” The course will aim to help people take the first step in supporting someone with their recovery journey by ultimately stepping into the shoes of someone who has had a first-hand experience.

The inevitable COVID spike in people experiencing depression and related symptoms has made it more important than ever to address mental health and equipping people with the tools to identify what depression looks like.

Georgia Harman, CEO of Beyond Blue stresses the variability of depression in each person “Depression may not look the same for everybody – and that’s why it’s important to learn the signs. It’s also important to note that depression doesn’t only affect the individual experiencing it, it also affects those around them. This course – designed by lived experience experts – will help people ‘on the outside’ to better  understand, connect with and respond to those living with depression.”

Meet Paul Grainger – Torrens University Australia Success Coach

We had a chat with Paul Grainger, Torrens University Australia Success Coach, Blue Voices member and mental health guest speaker. Paul is 27 years old and has experienced both anxiety and depression as well as a family history of suicide. For Paul, his first experiences of depression and suicidal thoughts began when he was only 16 and peaked again at the age of 23 where a myriad of thoughts ran through his head and he thought he was at the end of the road. Paul unknowingly took the steps to help himself ending up at the local hospital and being discharged 4 days later.

Since then, Paul has changed his perception and approach to life with the assistance of friends and work managers. Friends and colleagues have been ears to listen without inferring judgement or solutions which he believes is important and was exactly what he needed.

Amidst COVID-19, one of the most difficult times for many, Paul not only graduated with Bachelor of Business from Torrens University but has begun his role as a Success Coach. Paul stresses at this time it is imperative to be “radically kind to ourselves” and reframe every experience to “give pain purpose”.

In preparation for the course, what are some tips that you would give to young people living with depression based on your own personal experience?

Simply, remove the pressure, explore your curiosity, let go of the expectations created by society; ‘you do you’, as the expression goes. Throughout school I was a dreamer, an entrepreneur, an athlete, an academic; there were so many pathways that I could pursue. And yet, I was also unable to look at myself in the mirror and, sometimes for months, be unable to get out of bed. Why? I’d built an enormous expectation for what I thought I was meant to achieve, none of which seemed possible. And every time I would look into the mirror, I would reaffirm this impossibility.

So, my suggestion for young people is simply, as cliché as it might be, to let go and allow what’s meant to come, come. With this too, be patient. It’s taken me almost 10 years to fully embody this philosophy; I just wish I’d be kinder to myself in that time and to enjoy more of the moments between then and now.

And finally, if I can be so bold, delete social media (or at least turn off notifications). Spend more time connecting with your friends and family and having fun.

What can we expect from the 4-week course: Understanding Depression: Learning from Lived Experience?

Over the 4-week short course, participants will learn about depression directly from those with their own lived experiences. As they will see, depression looks different for everyone, and so they’ll hear from the stories of a range of men and women, young and older, to challenge stereotypes and spark conversations. What I love most about this course and why it’s going to be so impactful, is that it’s not presented from a ‘clinical’ point of view; it’s not esoteric and scientific; it’s real stories, real voices, and real insights into what it’s like and how we as family and friends can support one another better.

It will discuss what led up to the experience, the things that guide beliefs, values and expectations, the things that can help us during ‘low’ periods whilst also exploring the things we must do more of to help us stay well and prevent some of the early symptoms. In addition, some of the course content will be delivered by experienced Torrens University lecturers who have worked in the area of mental health for many years.

Tell us more about how can we be a positive support to someone who is/has been suffering from depression?

It’s really important that friends don’t feel any pressure to be able to ‘solve’ anything. There’s a reason trained professionals like psychologists exist. To be a positive support to someone with depression can simply mean letting them know you’re there to listen, not to offer advice or prescribe any solutions, just to listen. By educating ourselves on what to look for, through resources like those available in the Understanding Depression MOOC, and by engaging with the Beyond Blue website, we can understand in greater depth what’s going on and perhaps fill our toolkit with tips and tools on the types of support that we can offer that won’t do more harm than good. In some of my darkest moments, I thought that I was ‘throwing everything away’ and had nothing to live for, and so to know that I had friends who were still there, and would still be there, for whenever I was ready, meant so much and gave me a reason to keep going.

Tell us one positive mantra that you love to live by?

Prayer, patience and perseverance.

Participants of the Understanding Depression: Learning from Lived Experience course will receive a certificate of completion at the end of the course and it will require a 2-hour commitment each week.

For more information, to meet the people who share their experiences with depression in the MOOC, or to register go to: https://www.torrens.edu.au/understanding-depression-learning-from-lived-experience.

 Resources: 

Black Dog Institute https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/ 

World Mental Health Day https://www.who.int/campaigns/world-mental-health-day/world-mental-health-day-2020

Lifeline Australia 13 11 14

You can also text 0477 13 11 14 from 12 pm to midnight for support.

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