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Are We Born With Emotional Intelligence?

Are We Born With Emotional Intelligence?

Are We Born With Emotional Intelligence?

Kristy Hunter For Ponderings Magazine

Written by Kristy Hunter - Guest Ponderer

June 1, 2020

What is Emotional intelligence? 

Understanding EQ (Emotional Quotient/Emotional Intelligence) is a concept that was initially made popular by psychologist Daniel Goleman. In his book written in the mid-’90s, Goleman identified 5 key pillars of EQ; 5 key characteristics of a person that determined their EQ.   

 

What are the 5 pillars of EQ? 

In short, they are Self Awareness, Self Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills.

 

Image for Ponderings
Image for Ponderings Magazine

Am I born with EQ, or can I develop the skills/characteristics? 

The answer is both. We are all born with different personalities and character traits. Some of us may possess the character traits of empathy and social skills as part of our natural person. These character traits are not black/white assets, rather sit on a spectrum of grey – like most things human! Some people will possess large amounts of empathy, others less.

Whether we are born with natural energy and motivation or not, we are born with a brain we can use to teach and train ourselves when we choose to set an intention.  

Why would I want to develop my Emotional Quotient? 

Since becoming popularised, much research has been conducted surrounding EQ. Having high EQ has been directly correlated with “success” in life, studies indicating that in some situations EQ can be much more important than IQ.

Defining success is difficult; however, I’m mainly referring to people who are happier, healthier and have functional relationships – these are the people who have a higher EQ than their unhappier counterparts. 

I also work with several organisations to help them recruit people based mainly on EQ because it is well recognised that people with high EQ make great teammates and leaders.

Being able to receive constructive feedback is a crucial skill of someone with EQ! 

 

How do I develop my EQ? 

By making a decision and setting an intention for yourself. Living intentionally is something I talk about A LOT (Just ask my students or clients – insert eye roll emoji here). If we don’t live intentionally, we can meander along a path that leads to who knows where? As humans, we can choose our behaviour, choose our attitude and choose our direction – why wouldn’t we decide to go in a positive direction for ourselves and those in relationship with us? 

If you want to develop your EQ, assess your character, attitude and behaviour in each of the 5 pillars – self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. 

If you want a truly objective assessment, ask your partner or closest friends/family for feedback! 

 

 

Once you have a realistic assessment, set some goals in each attitude and behaviour, of things you are going to choose to think and do. For example, to increase my empathy, I am going to choose to ask two work colleagues how they are, and genuinely listen and engage in their answer. 

Or to improve my social skills, I am going to choose to introduce myself, even though I don’t feel comfortable or natural doing that.

I could talk about this stuff for days! It is challenging to condense into a short article. If you would like to learn more about developing your EQ, head to my website where you can read/watch some more detailed blogs that will help you. Feel welcome to contact me if you would like me to come and speak at your next work or team event.  

 

 

Kristy Hunter For Ponderings Magazine

Written by Kristy Hunter -Guest Ponderer

Resolution Conflict Expert and Workplace Leadership Consultant

Kristy Hunter is the golden expert in conflict resolution and driver for emotional growth and wellbeing. A leadership mentor and workplace consultant, this is one no BS  authentic human and we welcome her to Ponderings.

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Life- A Wheelchair Won’t Stop Me

Life- A Wheelchair Won’t Stop Me

Janelle McMillan OAM is an artist and author living in Hobart, and she’s got more warmth and charm than a basketful of puppies. 

What started as a Facebook friendship around six months ago, after she messaged me about an episode she’d liked of my Home Truths podcast on PodcastOne Australia, has blossomed into a fascination on my part of “what the hell is Janelle is up to next?”

She’s just so balls-first positive; thinking about Janelle makes me kick my COVID-19 worries into the corner and get out of bed every morning with a swagger and an ability to seize the day.

Janelle has Cerebral Palsy, which means she gets from A to B in a wheelchair.

She’s one of the most vibrant people I’ve come across in a good while. Janelle is non-verbal, which means that rather than speaking, she communicates via the written word and through her art, and her voice is joyously fun, take-no-prisoners honest, and fresher than the air on the top of Cradle Mountain.

She embraces every opportunity that life throws at her and technology has provided many of them. 

Operating a computer with a joystick instead of a mouse, Janelle has done hundreds of artworks over the years, raising thousands for charities by selling her Ken Done style T-shirts, calendars and cards through Redbubble to her global fan base. 

Social media has liberated Janelle to interact with insight on the topics she’s passionate about and she tweets and messages on how to increase inclusivity and community, especially for those with or caring for people with disabilities. She has helped me to minimise the dominance of a wheelchair or other disability to see people as they really are.

Like truly creative and positive people do, she’s not just getting a load of recognition like the 2020 Order of Australia she received for fundraising, she’s also building a fan base among the students she’s visited while discussing new book Rafting, A Wheelchair Won’t Stop Us! 

Janelle wrote the children’s book after going white water rafting and then deciding to use her experience to show that people with disabilities can be included in similar adventures as able-bodied people. 

Keen for a few insights on how to remain positive, I asked Janelle a few questions:

You write that being able-bodied doesn’t necessarily mean that you are happy in life. What do you mean?

Some people are never happy with what they have in life, and some people have mental health issues. But you have a body that works fine, so what more do you want in life? Non-verbal people are no less of a person just because they have difficulties with communication, and we can offer verbal friends great support when they are going through tough times. Never underestimate what a smile or cheeky grin can do to make someone’s day.

How important is being an artist and writer to you?

It gives me a reason to stay as healthy as I can be to continue to do artwork and write. And I can help other people by fundraising through my artwork and writing. My fundraising has made me a better person because it is important to me to give back, and it has given me something else to focus on rather than myself. 

 Just to understand, how you write backwards, is that word by word, like for you the word “word” would be “drow” before you move onto the next word?

Yes, you are right. I write the whole sentence backwards. People can read my handwriting like anyone else.

Will you continue to write?

Yes, I want to publish my biography.

What is the most frustrating thing about living with a disability?

Bloody small-minded good-doers who think that they know better.

What is the most liberating thing about living with a disability?

Knowing that I can help other people to be better people by teaching them to see life differently. I couldn’t care less about what people like me or not.

What is your next goal/desire for your life?
 
My next goal is to go into classrooms and talk to students about non-verbal people.

How do you communicate with students face to face? 

I write out what I wanted to say. And then I get my support worker to read it out, or I con the teacher to do the reading! 

 

What do you tell teachers about how to include kids with varying abilities in sport? 

It would be awesome to see kids who are not as great as other kids at running being encouraged by teachers to push kids in wheelchairs on sports days. It would make all the kids feel good about themselves.

What would you like to say to people scared about self-isolating with the current COVID 19 pandemic?

I’d like them to take the time to think about people with disabilities or people with compromised immune systems whose normal life is being stuck in their homes for weeks on end because they don’t have the appropriate funding for a support worker or can’t afford to pay for taxicabs.

The feelings and limitations around self-isolation is regular life for a lot of Australians with disabilities, and it doesn’t have an end date. I ask people to be brave but to also understand they are getting just a taste of our everyday life.

And finally, what makes you happy?
 
I love a challenge, and I have great pleasure in proving to people that I can do things. And also, being me and making people smile.

To watch a short film on Janelle by Small World Documentaries
Click Here

Or to buy her artwork
Click here

Six Tips For Salon Hair in ISO

Six Tips For Salon Hair in ISO

Life was changed as we knew it mid-March 2020. COVID- 19 was ravaging the world and had started to encroach on our shores significantly. 

Lockdowns began, and all residents of our country started to realise the seriousness of this viral spread.

Jomara Hair Studio is a boutique salon in the Belmont suburb of Geelong. With a small team of hairstylists and a highly engaged, loyal and trusted clientele. Business surged as pubs, clubs and cafes were closed, and people thought hairdressers would be next. Two weeks of busyness as clients brought their appointments forward. 

The rollercoaster of seeing beauty therapists closed down and hairdressers to stay open but operate with a 30 minute per client restriction unravelled. Hairdressing social pages went crazy while many salons shut their doors and stood down staff. Then the heartbreak for some and relief for others as the restriction was lifted and no time limit applied to visits to the hairdresser.

Amidst this storm, my journey was unfolding as a business owner, and for once, my introvert nature held me in good stead, along with years of personal and business development.

 

Rather than react to what was happening all around, I observed, listened to what Mr Scott Morrison, our Prime Minister, said and did not say. Rather than be angry that the Government had not shut our industry down, I was grateful. 

I focused my attention on reviewing all our processes to make our salon the safest haven it could be in the face of such an infectious virus. We did experience a sudden decline as clients digested the new world we are currently living in. I listened to what their main concerns were and communicated how we were addressing these issues. Trust held firm, and we have been able to trade through the storm and stay well afloat. Self-doubt was alive and well every day, and my real courage was choosing to back my decisions and quiet the negative ‘monkeys’ in my mind.

We are through the intenseness of going into lockdown, many people are working from home and have more unfilled time than usual. These are perfect conditions for creating your retreat. The offerings online are endless for looking after body, mind and spirit. For those of us still working full time adapt these tips as no added pressure is needed.  

Here are my top tips for looking after your hair at this time.  

  • Take a break from using any heat appliances.

Only style your hair on the days you have video meetings or are going into work. Leave your hair be on your days off; this tip will benefit your hair more than anything else.  

  • Upgrade your haircare

With a small amount of what you would normally spend going out, you could treat yourself with professional salon haircare. A professional hairstylist can prescribe the right product for your needs. Our products are very specific rather than a broad spectrum with more concentrated and higher quality ingredients than the products at the supermarket. Many salons are providing contactless pickup and free delivery. At Jomara we use DeLorenzo Haircare the only wholly Australian made and owned professional haircare range. All following product recommendations are from the DeLorenzo range.

 

  • Treatments

Superfood for your hair. Treatments come in a wide range from instant leave in such as Instant Restructurant or Hair Moisturiser for those still going out to work. Pre shampoo such as Novaplex 3 or Oil Balance and post shampoo such as Protein Complex and Equilibrium. Follow manufacturer’s instructions for product use. 

  • Hot towel wrap

Take your treatment to the next level. Lightly wet a hand size towel and heat in the microwave for approx. Thirty seconds, (this will vary according to your microwave) carefully remove and check the temperature is right to wrap around your hair. The heat helps to infuse the treatment into the hair.

  • Visit your Hair Salon

Some salons have stayed open and done an excellent job creating safe and calming spaces for you to visit. Others are reopening; again doing all they can to keep everyone safe. You legally can visit your hair salon, and there are no time restrictions on your visit, so full colour and treatment services can be completed. A word of warning, at the time of writing NO beauty services, should be performed in a hair salon so please don’t ask your stylist to do lash or brow tinting or facial waxing and the like and say NO if these are offered to you. Government guidelines apply to those over 70 or those with compromised immunity. Please consider your personal circumstances when deciding whether to visit the salon.

 

  • Dealing with colour regrowth if visiting the salon is not an option

This is a loaded issue for professional stylists, you will discover who is ethical and who is not, and I will address this best I can. Firstly DeLorenzo colour is for professional use only and having your stylist sell you colour should not be an option.

There are terrific spray/powder/mascara stick products available at some salons, Hair House Warehouse and Priceline that cover regrowth beautifully then wash back out leaving the hair damage-free.

 

The taboo product ‘supermarket box colour’. 

 

I know some of you will go there so I will share my limited knowledge as I do not use them but on the flip side my 30 years of colour experience gives me a fair insight into how they work and how you can best use them if you must go there. Your box colour will contain one tube/bottle of tint and a bottle of developer. When you visit with an expert hair colourist, you will notice at least two bowls of colour mixed for your hair.

 

A stronger mix for regrowth which may need to be lightened or grey covered and a much gentler mix for ends that have already been coloured and just need a refresh. The mix in that box will be on the stronger side and should not be put through all of your hair every time you use it. I would never do that to someone’s hair! So if you must use it, go for as near your natural colour as possible and just apply it to the regrowth you can see not throughout all your hair.

 

Remember it will be near impossible to get a nice result if you try to go more than two levels lighter than your natural hair. Hair colour is science and art. Find an expert and leave it to them if you can.

I sincerely hope this COVID experience leaves all of us calmer, more caring about what really matters and with beautiful, healthy hair whatever that means for you xox.

 

About our Ponderer: Mariesa has 30 years experience in the hair & beauty industry. She finds nothing more satisfying than a great conversation blended with time for you to deeply relax, while delivering a great cut and colour helping you look & feel amazing. You can visit at https://www.jomara.com.au

 

DOWNLOAD YOUR SIX TIP TO LUSH HAIR HERE

About our Ponderer

Mariesa has 30 years experience in the hair & beauty industry. She finds nothing more satisfying than a great conversation blended with time for you to deeply relax, while delivering a great cut and colour helping you look & feel amazing.

You can visit at https://www.jomara.com.au

Or on Facebook: Click Here

Fractal Patterns, Elsa and Why Exercise In Iso Might Be Better Than You Think

Fractal Patterns, Elsa and Why Exercise In Iso Might Be Better Than You Think

Fractal Patterns, Elsa and Why Exercise In Iso Might Be Better Than You Think

Written by Sarah Healy - Exercise Physiologist

If you’re on social media at the moment then I’m sure you have seen numerous personal trainers, famous or otherwise, giving away their home workouts for free. 

Amazing right? They are a great way of keeping you moving during the lockdown. But have they enticed you to use your active-wear for good and follow their lead? 

If these sessions aren’t for you, what else can you do? At this point, we are still able to head outside for some physical activity as long as we follow the social distancing rules. From my experience, it’s one of my favourite parts of my day. Whether I’m with my husband and three kids or going solo, I love heading out of the house, breathing in the fresh air and increasing heart rate. I always feel clearer and calmer returning home. 

There is so much more outside to observe too. In nature, there are many examples of fractals – repeating identical patterns, or similar such as leaves, flowers and ocean waves. Exposure to these fractal patterns has been shown to reduce people’s levels of stress by up to 60%? 

Why wouldn’t we go outside? 

It’s not the only way exercise improves our wellbeing. Research has repeatedly shown the multiple benefits of regular exercise such as

  • Improved immune function
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Improved cognitive function
  • Improved sleep quality
  • Decreased risk of most chronic disease
  • Reduced inflammation in the body
  • Boost in mental health

and its never too late to start. 

At this point, it’s essential to find time to exercise because you may be missing out on the incidental exercise that used to be a part of our day. 

Bonus fun fact: did you know that Elsa sings about fractals in the Frozen song ‘Let it Go’? I know! You’re welcome.

The best way to create a new habit is to piggyback it onto another habit. 

How often each day do you boil the kettle, check the news or social media? Try attaching an exercise to each of these activities. Squats with social media, calf raises when checking the news, steps ups after coming in from hanging up the washing. Simple short bursts of exercise throughout our day can help to keep us alert and feeling calmer. Something is always better than nothing.

If you are looking for a free online exercise class, try as many as you can and look outside the square from the usual program if they aren’t enjoyable. 

Live-streamed dance classes have been really popular because they can be fun as a virtual dance party or yoga for the meditative qualities. If you feel like you need something more individualized than find an Exercise Physiologist that have moved their service to online telehealth appointments. 

There are so many options that we can do within our own four walls but if you are lucky enough to be able to leave those four walls for some restorative exercise outside, then do it!

Sarah Healy is an Exercise Physiologist, with knowledge and skills to implement exercise interventions for people with acute, sub-acute or chronic medical conditions, disabilities or injuries. In other words- she knows stuff! This beach dweller loves cooking, is partial to an excellent tea and mountain bike riding in nature sets her heart to happy mode. A published writer, Sarah understands and is passionate about helping people prevent injury and get moving. 

Sarah’s background in coaching gymnastics fuelled a career that is impressively highly qualified. A Bachelor of Applied Science in Human Movement and a Grad Dip in Exercise for Rehabilitation, with a variety of Certifications.

You can contact Sarah at https://wholebodyhealthandwellness.com.au/practitioners

 

 

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Follow Us
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