2. Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. 

Isolation has taught us so much; particularly in the western world. What we value, what we miss and what we need and don’t need is just a start. Our children are small, but their futures are big! 

3. I wasn’t going to eat it; I was just going to taste it. 

Nothing else needed here. Just pause and reflect. (too soon?) 

4) A hug is always the right size.

Hugs, how important is human touch and contact? Never underestimate a hug until you can’t give one. Then never underestimate the ability it can have to turn from a gesture of love to a vehicle for a virus. Hang onto those hugs people, then when you can hug the stuffing out of people. 

5) If you live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day, so that I never have to live a day without you.

Don’t spare a minute, if you are sorry; say sorry. If you miss someone; tell them. If you care, say it. If you think someone is wonderful; tell them. People are unique, every single one of them. Regrets are like honey pots you left on an ant nest. 

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’

6) Governments, spokespeople- please keep it simple. Please don’t confuse us. KISS method works well always. Keeping it Simple is Sophisticated.  

7) You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. 

Think outside the square and think for yourself, help a neighbour, a relative or someone you don’t even know. The most wonderful things can happen when you look outside your corner.

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On closer inspection as you move closer to the chips and french onion dip you notice they are indeed having a bit of a verbal stoush. 

One person’s words you note are not overtly triggering or upsetting, but there is an undertone. So what is going on? The quirky morsel to observe is the circular tread of the conversation; they agree with each other to a degree. So why so tense?

Welcome to the Mehrabian rule! 

These perceptions are very intricate; there is evidence to suggest decision making is often a subconscious action.

Born in Iran in the brutal and tragic Armenian genocidal hangover of 1939, Professor Emeritus of Psychology Albert Mehrabian is somewhat revered for his 7-38-55 rule. Mehrabian’s groundbreaking research and publications were extensive; however, his work on verbal and non-verbal messages became the tightly held tools of negotiators, FBI agencies and more recently business coaches across the globe. 

 We never come to an interaction with another human without preconceived ideas. We are the result of our learning and experiences, the social cues we pick up and learn along the way are our complex resource for perceiving others, and plot twist: it is NOT always correct. 

These perceptions are very intricate; there is evidence to suggest decision making is often a subconscious action. 

We also have body language and tone quirks that will give away what we really think or believe more so than what we are saying. 

Remember the saying; the smile doesn’t match the eyes? Instant suspicion may be induced and a feeling of mistrust or weariness when we get this vibe from someone. The more discerning we become, the more powerful we are at reading these messages. 

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Am I born with EQ, or can I develop the skills/characteristics? 

The answer is both. We are all born with different personalities and character traits. Some of us may possess the character traits of empathy and social skills as part of our natural person. These character traits are not black/white assets, rather sit on a spectrum of grey – like most things human! Some people will possess large amounts of empathy, others less.

Whether we are born with natural energy and motivation or not, we are born with a brain we can use to teach and train ourselves when we choose to set an intention.  

Why would I want to develop my Emotional Quotient? 

Since becoming popularised, much research has been conducted surrounding EQ. Having high EQ has been directly correlated with “success” in life, studies indicating that in some situations EQ can be much more important than IQ.

Defining success is difficult; however, I’m mainly referring to people who are happier, healthier and have functional relationships – these are the people who have a higher EQ than their unhappier counterparts. 

I also work with several organisations to help them recruit people based mainly on EQ because it is well recognised that people with high EQ make great teammates and leaders.

Being able to receive constructive feedback is a crucial skill of someone with EQ! 

How do I develop my EQ? 

By making a decision and setting an intention for yourself. Living intentionally is something I talk about A LOT (Just ask my students or clients – insert eye roll emoji here). If we don’t live intentionally, we can meander along a path that leads to who knows where? As humans, we can choose our behaviour, choose our attitude and choose our direction – why wouldn’t we decide to go in a positive direction for ourselves and those in relationship with us? 

If you want to develop your EQ, assess your character, attitude and behaviour in each of the 5 pillars – self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. 

If you want a truly objective assessment, ask your partner or closest friends/family for feedback! 

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The uncertainty is real. Perhaps these little fluff delights get sucked into space and transform into micro flaming meteors smashing back down in my garden. 

There are so many things in life we believe we have control over, and power is a coping mechanism. When in fact, our circle of control is much smaller than we think albeit powerful in that smallness. Anything can happen at any time, so when you live for the moment, you live in reality. You can plan for the future at the moment, and you can reflect on past hurts and transform them in the moment. However, living in the moment and being lead very intuitively with what our needs are in this time and space creates some incredible action. 

Perhaps someone very dear to you just left your world, and you have absolutely no idea what life looks like without them in it physically. 

Here are some things I have learned- Uncertainties in life are guaranteed.

Some are larger than others. One moment everything is going ok, the next BAM- you are having a seizure and being told you have multiple micro haemorrhages in your noggin.

You may find yourself in life a position where someone else has to shower you, dress you or feed you. But you have control inside the possibilities of what you CAN do.

You may be waiting for a job offer to come through, a house loan, a house sale, a romantic text message, a cancer-diagnosis. Anything at any moment can potentially tip your life upside down. That Uncertainty seed can grow branches of frustration, limitations, fear, hasty decision making, forcing a situation, sleepless nights and destructive action, extreme stress and illness- to name a few.  No longer a seed, it is a lava shit-show permeating every section of your life setting it ablaze with embers you cannot put out – IF YOU ALLOW THEM. 

Uncertainty can become less imposing and more of a curiosity and a place for possibility about to unfold. But to experience this kind of relief, we need to take the situation, place it in our hand, turn it over and examine it a little. Because once you understand the way it affects you when it makes an impact, life starts to get really interesting. It certainly can relieve some of the pressure. Because uncertainty can cause pain, and pain needs relief, right?

First, we must pause. Rebelling internally or externally against pausing is putting off pulling the thorns from your feet, ignoring the meteors burning your life down.  

When we delve into a pause, sometimes we don’t like what we find there. 

Exploring our monsters and fears can bring great gifts of understanding. Understanding means clarity. To be honest about ourselves requires courage. Monsters aren’t always out to eat our hearts, sometimes they need a cuddle, and their fangs need a trim. The truth is, there are so many elements of information to which we don’t always have access. Situations sometimes need to show us more or alter before we can see them for what they indeed are. 

Unhurried hands and minds make the best meals from scratch, tell the best bedtime stories, write beautiful music and see the colours in a sunset for the beauty they are designed for,  and allow the balance to course through the body and mind. 

We need to engage our Visual (see), Auditory (hear), Kinesthetic (feel), Olfactory (smell), Gustatory (taste) and Soul (soul) senses to be present. Take a breath in, what can you smell, see, hear, feel, taste? This is how you experience life. 

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Why wouldn’t we go outside? 

It’s not the only way exercise improves our wellbeing. Research has repeatedly shown the multiple benefits of regular exercise such as

• Improved immune function
• Reduced stress and anxiety
• Improved cognitive function
• Improved sleep quality
• Decreased risk of most chronic disease
• Reduced inflammation in the body
• Boost in mental health

and its never too late to start. 

At this point, it’s essential to find time to exercise because you may be missing out on the incidental exercise that used to be a part of our day. 

The best way to create a new habit is to piggyback it onto another habit. 

How often each day do you boil the kettle, check the news or social media? Try attaching an exercise to each of these activities. Squats with social media, calf raises when checking the news, steps ups after coming in from hanging up the washing. Simple short bursts of exercise throughout our day can help to keep us alert and feeling calmer. Something is always better than nothing.

Sarah Healy is an Exercise Physiologist, with knowledge and skills to implement exercise interventions for people with acute, sub-acute or chronic medical conditions, disabilities or injuries. In other words- she knows stuff! This beach dweller loves cooking, is partial to an excellent tea and mountain bike riding in nature sets her heart to happy mode. A published writer, Sarah understands and is passionate about helping people prevent injury and get moving. 

Sarah’s background in coaching gymnastics fuelled a career that is impressively highly qualified. A Bachelor of Applied Science in Human Movement and a Grad Dip in Exercise for Rehabilitation, with a variety of Certifications.

You can contact Sarah at https://wholebodyhealthandwellness.com.au/practitioners

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26-year-old Jiro Murai (born 1886) was left at his family’s cabin in the woods upon his request for a week, to die. He asked them to come and collect his body on the eighth day… 

Despite being from a highly regarded family of medical doctors in Japan, no one could figure out what his illness was or how to cure it. For the seven days, he spent in the cabin Murai fasted, meditated, and practised various finger postures or mudras which he’d seen represented on statues of Buddha.

He drifted in, and out of consciousness became deeply cold then felt as though he’d been thrown into a furnace. When the heat disappeared, he found himself healed, and a profound sense of peace and inner calm enveloped him. In deepest gratitude, he pledged the rest of his life to understanding what had happened to him, and to help others. He was committed to understanding the causes of disharmony, and was described by his protégé, Mary Burmeister, as “a man who was obsessed with the pursuit of knowledge”.

Throughout his years of research helping the large homeless population in Wano Park in Tokyo, Murai developed an awareness of the healing art he called Jin Shin Jyutsu® – The Art of the Creator through the person of compassion. 

It’s based upon our natural, innate ability to harmonise ourselves in body, mind and spirit. It can be used anywhere, at any time. WOAH! This is big, empowering stuff, people.

When the stresses and strains of life disrupt the flow of life energy, every level of our being is affected. 

We become stuck in feelings (referred to in Jin Shin Jyutsu as the ‘attitudes’) such as worry, fear, anger, sadness or pretence, and we become more prone to physical illness or disease – which are symptoms of imbalance.      

We’re all living through incredibly tough times right now, and it’s more important now than ever to keep our Being in balance. Here’s a straightforward Jin Shin Jyutsu self-help exercise to help you help yourself. I call it “Happy Hands” or “Magic Hands” when I teach it to kids. Please keep in mind that practising Jin Shin Jyutsu on yourself has an accumulative effect. The more you use it, the greater will be your sense of balance, energy and self-understanding.  

Right, let’s go – do this as I lead you through it.

Hold each finger and the palm of your hands one at a time, like this. (strip of photos showing holding fingers) Hold them gently for a couple of minutes each. There are no rules – you’ll get a feel for it. As you practise more and more, you’ll become attuned to the changing feeling as you hold each finger – both in your being and in the sensation of that finger as you hold. You’ll feel the pulsation and the texture of the pulse change and come into harmony. If you don’t feel anything, this is fine too. It’s having a positive effect whether you can feel it or not. 

• THUMB (yellow). Holding the thumb harmonises worry. It also assists us to digest, so if a child has a tummy ache, get them to hold their thumb. 
• INDEX FINGER (blue). Holding the index finger harmonises fear. It’s also great for back pain. 
• MIDDLE FINGER (green). Holding the middle finger harmonises anger. Eye issues are helped by holding the middle finger.
• RING FINGER (white). Holding the ring finger harmonises sadness or grief. It’s also a great supporter of the lungs. 
• LITTLE FINGER / PINKY (red). This harmonises a feeling which can be a little harder to grasp: “trying to” or “pretence”. It’s when you’re presenting to the outside world something different to what you’re feeling on the inside—showing a façade rather than what you’re feeling. If you often say “I should…”, this is a big one for you! This supports the heart, too.
• PALM CENTRE (luminous ruby red) This is the total harmonizer. Holding it is wonderfully nurturing, and it also supports diaphragm function. 

An easy way to remember which finger represents which attitude is: you’re getting rid of Worry (thumb) F.A.S.T. (index finger harmonises Fear, middle finger harmonises Anger, ring finger harmonises Sadness, little finger harmonises Trying to, or pretence).  

It’s simple and powerful, people! Don’t be fooled by its easiness. These are incredibly powerful tools. Share this with your family, friends, colleagues. Let’s stay in harmony with ourselves and our surroundings during these times and beyond.

Our conributor Sally Wilson is a former international opera singer.  Sally certainly knows a thing or two about stress! Now she helps people to discover joy, freedom and fulfilment. As an accredited TRTP™ practitioner, Jin Shin Jyutsu®  practitioner and JSJ Self-help Instructor, Sally’s wisdom and insights are a welcome breath of fresh air.  https://www.sallywilsonholistics.com/   https://www.facebook.com/iamsallywilson