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The O’Donnell Sisters Guide to Mama’s Survival

The O’Donnell Sisters Guide to Mama’s Survival

The O'Donnell Sister's Guide To Mama's Survival

How has your day been Mama?

Right now, you might have your magnificent offspring on your hip while talking on the phone- stepping over blocks and shooing the dog away from lunchtime spills on the floor. Between ubering, cheffing, counseling, diplomatic rationalizing and smashing the glass ceiling you may well be wiping wee off a toilet seat and mentally preparing a list of everything you NEED to do while pondering Marie Kondo and realising how many things are just NOT sparking your joy… Welcome, you are not alone!

According to research by Griffith University, many women struggle with being time poor and the demands of being a mother, the requirements of being an employee and “getting it all done.” No kidding. I mean, really? “IT ALL” is a broad term to throw into inverted commas people. C’mon already. We are amazing, we are warriors- tell us something we don’t know! But let’s be serious. It can be so hard.

Mother guilt can be heavier than a bag of bricks.

The old phrase “a woman’s work is never done” could not be more ‘en pointe in our western–i-can-do-it-all-because-bras-were-burned-for-me world. Life is busy. Busy women doing many things with as little mistakes as we can manage because the world is watching right?

So, as busy mums how do we lessen the burden and start living our best life? What is this magic that will give us more energy and propel us out of the world of Mombie and into the land of the living and being present?

Now we could sit here and tell you like everyone else to meditate the proverbial out of yourself, however, let’s keep it real. We are modern women with modern needs, and sometimes it’s the little things that put a smile on your face.

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1. DITCH THE GUILT

We are living in a time where women are waving the feminist flag with one hand and holding the washing basket in the other. The load on the mother has increased to include basically EVERYTHING! Working, childcare, home duties, meal prep, bikini waxes or if you are liberated- not- corporate takeovers, Bachelor Degrees in OMG I AM A MOTHER NOW WHEN AM I GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN- to hang on, I love this, this is WORTHY.  Oh and worming the dog.- don’t forget that. Are you Vegan and gluten intolerant or maybe your child has allergies? Put the whiskey down, its ok, we have more… point is- GUILT is too heavy an emotion, it holds a heavy vibration that will zap the energy you are already lacking. So give it a miss and send it on its way. Good vibes Mama, more of this in your life will do nicely.

2: Hire a cleaner!

Good thing I mentioned ditching the guilt first right?!  

Regardless of who does what in your abode, stats from Macquarie University tell us that in Australia 86% of women do the majority of the housework. Would you like some gender inequality with your smashed avo?

Hiring a cleaner may sound like a luxury for some- however, hiring a cleaner even once a fortnight to do the tasks you hate or don’t have time to do (insert scrubbing bathroom grout, the laundry pile, cleaning the oven) is a winner.  By outsourcing, you are giving yourself time to do less obligatory tasks and allow more meaningful moments. Take time for yourself, make memories with your kids (the fun ones!) and the job still gets done. Can’t afford it? Try and work it into your budget by ditching the lattes and takeouts- substituting things in your budget to make life easier may become your next best trick. $35 every two weeks for an hour of those jobs might be a life-changer.


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3. Organisation time

There is no way we can remember everything. Keep an electronic diary on your smartphone with alerts and reminders. Keeping track of events, library day, bills, appointments, due payments. It’s like having a free PA that reminds us of the important stuff. Have you checked out Google Personal Assistant? If not.. do this today!  If you make time to check your phone once a day, you won’t find yourself red-faced in the school car park- it is not Crazy Hair Day and your child is walking around the playground looking like Johnny Rotten.

4. Learn to say NO.

You don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. No is a lovely word when it is used in the right context and when it comes to you Mama, saying No sometimes can be your saving grace. It might be no to catching up, no to attending something, a party, or a favor. You and your children come first. There is a time in adulthood when we need to conserve our energy for the important things. Those moments are when we bravely decide to sidestep the “have to’s” and permit ourselves to opt out. And if you pause and think about it- who deserves the best of you? You. What you take from one bucket you give to another.

Everyone else can wait, and if they don’t understand that it might be time to rethink who your tribe is.

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5. Take 10 minutes.

When the kids are asleep, or entertained, take ten. Go outside, put your feet on the grass- adorn your head with headphones playing soothing music and thank yourself for being you. Yoga Nidra meditation is really awesome too. Or….if you wanted to you could put on your old Doc Martins and smash out some interpretive dance to Four Non-Blondes. Your own silent disco. Cool doesn’t have a used by date in your loungeroom.

We will leave you with our parting gift of advice: NETFLIX. Gorging pure escapism for the sake of sanity. We are talking Outlander, no limits, no judgment. Soulfood. Mr. Grey is a thing of the past- we’re talking kilts, rolling hills,  a thick Scottish accent, and a sporran. Did someone just say “Sassenach?”

 The O’Donnell Sisters
One is a celebrated author, mother, and teacher, the other is the black sheep and ratbag wordsmithing her way through life with gusto. Kate O’Donnell and her sister Kirsten can often be found reminiscing and talking women’s business over a peppermint tea (Kirsten’s is often laced with Gin) and knitting. Kate knits, Kirsten does not. Mind you Kate does play a mean steel six string guitar and loves a good Xavier Rudd concert. Her big sister loves popcorn, gardening, Hemingway, quantum physics and is quite partial to a pirouette. She is not certifiably crazy but on the quiet- she thinks she might be the OA.

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I Want People To Know Refugees Aren’t Monsters

I Want People To Know Refugees Aren’t Monsters

Rnita Refugee Council of Australia

My name is Rnita, I’m 28 and I have been living in Sydney for just over three years.

I arrived in June 2015 when my family and I were forced to leave our home country Syria because of the war and the danger, uncertainty and suffering we faced every day. Reflecting on the past year and the ongoing situations in Nauru and Manus, I want to share my story and help people understand what it’s really like to be a refugee.

Life in Syria

There are many reasons I left Syria. My family was part of the revolution against the Bashar Assad regime meaning we lived in constant fear for three years. I was a teacher working at a government school and I left the house every day not knowing whether I’d come back. It was commonplace for people who were against the government to be harassed, arrested or just disappear.

One Spring day when I was in the city doing paperwork, a big bomb exploded just like that. I wasn’t hurt but it was shocking to see first-hand how a split second can change your life.

We didn’t have electricity for days and wouldn’t know when we were next going to see light. There was no phone coverage, no food to buy and no clean water so we’d drink from wells. I now look at the Syrian people as 18 million heroes to live like this day in, day out.

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To make matters worse, my father was in prison where he was beaten and tortured because he was against the regime – he wouldn’t stand for unfairness and injustice. He now suffers from a bad back as a long-lasting reminder of his time there. My brother was an activist and was at risk of being imprisoned too so we needed to leave the country desperately.

First, Lebanon

First of all, we moved to Lebanon where we faced a lot of pressure. The Lebanese people treated didn’t accept us as refugees and treated us like garbage. I started having epilepsy seizures because of the stress and one time when it was an emergency, I was turned away by seven different ERs because I was Syrian.

We applied to move to many countries including America, Brazil, places in Europe and Australia where we had extended family. After months of waiting, we were accepted by Australia. The day we found out, I wept for joy. We felt so lucky.

I held on to my phone for 15 hours a day for two months in case they called back about the next stage of the process! It sounds extreme but these phone calls were life changing for my family and me.

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Arriving in Australia

We arrived in Sydney on 18 June 2015 and coincidently the city was celebrating the International Refugee Day. I actually had a panic attack in the airport after hearing all of the English around me. I only knew three words of the language and was totally overwhelmed.

Once the panic had faded, I felt immense relief. I started learning English after being in Australia for 10 days and was blessed that people accepted us with open arms. I wanted to get a job and start paying taxes to repay the country and the Australian people for their hospitality as soon as possible.

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Making a difference

I’m now working for the Refugee Council of Australia in a communications role and am also studying at the same time so I can progress in this type of job in the future. The Refugee Council of Australia is the national umbrella body for organisations which help refugees and asylum seekers, advocating for more humane policies based on consultations with real people about their needs.

It’s great because the voices of refugees are heard and we work to show decision makers that we’re not monsters – we’re just normal people. Personally I would like to see detention centres closed. People are treated as less than human in offshore processing.

Through my journey I have learnt to be strong and resilient and am forever grateful for the love the Australian people have shown me. I’m looking forward to continuing my work with the Refugee Council of Australia in 2019 and truly hope it’s a year for better policy and real change for refugees and asylum seekers just like me.

The Refugee Council of Australia advocates for humane, lawful and constructive policies with and for refugees and asylum seekers. It is a small, not-for-profit organisation which relies on donations from the public. To donate, please visit www.refugeecouncil.org.au/donations

 

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A Buddhist Point of View

A Buddhist Point of View

A Buddhist Point of View Drol Kar Buddhist Centre

It goes something like this;

If you are involved in an inter-religion soccer competition and you have the choice, challenge the Buddhists first, they are the ones most likely to offer you the victory. Intended as a joke it conveys a misunderstanding that suggests that they are the easy beats and, in some way, soft and weak. This misapprehension needs to be addressed so a more accurate understanding that Buddhism is tough may be recognized. This toughness is based squarely on the teachings that prescribe the most searing of investigations into self, framed in the unrelenting reality of the situation of our lives.

The Buddhist study demonstrates what at times appears to be contradictory lessons. How can an enhanced familiarity with death improve the quality of our lives, how can a knowing of impermanence improve our enjoyment and how can the act of giving enable true receiving?

The first teachings of the Buddha are the Four Noble Truths, the first of these speaks directly to the suffering nature of our circumstance.

That we are born, age, and suffer sickness and die, a death that will inevitably occur and that its timing is unknown, therefore we are faced with a fundamental uncertainty. This uncertainty underpins every waking moment and with understanding has the potential to enhance that moment, such that it is valued and truly appreciated. How fortunate are we to have such excellent circumstances?

The second of the Noble Truths speaks to the cause of this suffering and for this we must accept responsibility, that it is our misdeeds that give rise to our unhappiness. This immediately strips us one our most preferred defences, that is blame. The family violence perpetrator blames the victim’s behaviour as the cause, the gambler blames bad luck and the protestor blames the other for all manner of suffering. The acceptance that we are responsible enables the consideration of transforming behaviours to better achieve happiness.

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The teachings on impermanence is yet another example of how a deeper understanding of the true nature of our circumstance can improve the quality of those circumstances.

To purchase a new item is fraught with misunderstanding, the whole concept of new, a misapprehension. What component of the item is new and how quickly does it cease to be new? Our acceptance that all things deteriorate, a deterioration that commences immediately enables us to appreciate the item as it changes, not to be at some time shocked by its deterioration. The new flash car ceases to be new in the misdirected perspective only when it’s scratched or damaged. Once again, the greater the understanding of the true nature of us and the things we surround ourselves with the greater our capacity to find happiness.

The next aspect for consideration is the insistence that the Buddhist practice is elaborated by introspection, an honest look at self. The self that is self-centred, discriminative and is infused with feeling, such that every awareness registers as happy, unhappy or neutral and our responses to the feeling that can provoke love, consideration or envy, anger, jealousy and a whole range of thoughts, speech and behaviours.

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What makes Buddhism tough is the honesty of looking and adjusting to live in the real world, that sees our reliance on all others and one in which we take responsibility for the consequence of our actions. Working to make the intention of those actions to benefit all others so we experience a more enduring quality of happiness.

by David Mayer

Drol Kar Buddhist Centre

Drol Kar Buddhist Centre was initially established in 1999 by Geshe Sonam Thargye and a group of his students in Geelong. It is a not for profit Incorporated Association with the sole purpose of providing Tibetan Buddhist teachings, dharma practice, meditation and study, in the Mahayana tradition.

Contact:

Drol Kar Buddhist Centre

Telephone: 03 52661788

Email: info@drolkarbuddhistcentre.org.au

Website:www.drolkarbuddhistcentre.org.au

 

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The World’s Most Influential Young People Inspiring The Way For 2019

The World’s Most Influential Young People Inspiring The Way For 2019

The World's Most Influential Young People Inspiring the way for 2019 by Montanna Macdonald for Ponderings Magazine

The world is grueling, inspiring and unequivocally extraordinary in all its facets.

It is important not to lose sight of what the world of other people just like you, are doing to make a change. It’s important to see beyond the norms and expectations on what society places upon you and look for inspiration as a pattern of universal effect. Some of us, and silently a lot of us have big aspirations and goals, yet are stuck in this cycle of societal consumerism and sleeping through our alarm clocks. So maybe it’s time we set a new period, a better mindset with the help of other influential younglings who are making their path to follow.

So who are the most inspiring young people of our day and age? Who is making a change? Who is not doing what every other young person thinks they should be doing? Who is unique, and will make you want to get up out of bed this morning?

Krtin Nithiyanandam, Age 17

17-year-old Krtin Nithiyanandam went from a broken pelvis; to an idea, finding universities who would support him in his award-winning research for an antibody that would detect early signs of Alzheimer’s disease. This research led to Nithiyanandam receiving the Scientific American Innovator Award at the Google Science Fair in 2017. Nithiyanandam has also worked with researchers at Cambridge University to try and make rare and hard to treat breast cancer more treatable. A young man who will stop at nothing to find cures, and save lives.

 

Muzoon Almellehan, Age 19

Muzoon Almellehan is a Syrian refugee and Activist for female education.  In June 2017, she became the youngest Goodwill Ambassador to UNICEF, which made her the first person in the world with official refugee status to become an ambassador for the global organisation. Almellehan’s accomplishments and hard work are truly inspiring in shaping the future for females in education and human rights.  

Shibby de Guzman, Age 14

Shibby de Guzman is only 14 years old and is one of TIMES 30 most influential people of the world. Why is she influential? At 14 she’s protesting the streets with cardboard signs on her chest standing up against Rodrigo Duterte’s fascist regime under the Philippines government. It is a dangerous and courageous act for de Guzman to stand up against a government and uphold what you believe is right.

Macinley Butson, Age 17

Macinley Butson is an Australian girl who at the age of 17 was the youngest recipient to date of the INTEL International Science and Engineering Award and the 2018 NSW Young Australian of the Year for her invention called the Smart Amour. The Smart Amour acts as a protection layer for breast cancer patients while they are undergoing radiotherapy. An idea which sparked to Butson’s mind while sitting at the dinner table with her dad.

Molly Steer,  Age 10

Molly Steer is another Australian girl who at the age of nine with the help of her mum made her Straw No More campaign to remove plastic straws from schools around Australia. Steer has convinced over 90 and counting Australian and International schools to cull the plastic straw. What was only meant to be a small change in Steer’s Cairns home, became an international campaign, resulting in Steer delivering a TEDx speech in 2017. A small step for Molly, but a big step in environmental change.

It is often mentioned that the younger generation is aimless, entitled and echoes of “millennial-itis”  call across the conversations of many of our elders, however I think you will agree with us – this is just not always the case. The selection of young people we have shown you are but a sample of SO MANY! The future is bright, and it may be an aspect for us to ponder on how we spend our energy, our time and the path we choose to take.

As the iconically wise Dr. Suess once said,

You have brains in your head, And feet in your shoes, You can steer yourself, Any direction you choose.
    About the Author:

Montanna Macdonald is currently studying journalism and public relations at University, and we welcome her as a contributor to Ponderings.  The love of meaningful and impacting communication fuels this passionate public speaker and an avid debate is always on hand with a social conscience that runs deep. This go-getter will write a speech to move an audience and inspire them into change. She doesn’t mind being friends with Muggles and wears her Gryffindor scarf with pride. Montanna has a love for broadcast media but doesn’t subscribe to the status quo. Robert Frost is her go to along with Dr. Seuss.

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State of Flow Health Through a Balanced Life

State of Flow Health Through a Balanced Life

 

Zhuang Zi from the 3rd century BCE said “We are born because it is time, and we die in accordance with nature. If we are content with whatever happens and follow the flow, joy, sorrow cannot affect us.”

This is what the ancients called freedom from bondage.

In our modern world, we hear a lot about leading a balanced life. We hear so much about balance it can almost lose its true meaning. Often it is code for being very busy and trying to fit everything in. Not really balanced at all.  One of the ancient philosophies associated with Chinese medicine is Daoism which suggests we live in a state of flow and be less focused on controlling the outcome of our lives. The paradox being that the things we do achieve will be true to us and what indeed supports and serves us, enabling us to share more of ourselves, in our work and private lives. One of the very welcome benefits of living this way is good health, physical and emotional health, even longer life.

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 Daoism speaks of change as a constant.

We see it daily in the turning of the day, as night becomes day. We see it as we move through our lives, it never stops. But we can become very attached to the way things are, sometimes so connected we cannot see the way to the next place, or what the next best step might be. So, attached that we stick with what we know even if it is not serving us well. It is familiar, safe. Sometimes life must shout very loudly at us so we can hear what is on offer. Things can become very out of balance as this process unfolds. It can affect our physical and emotional health significantly.

 

In Chinese medicine, we observe that the different organs are associated with mixed emotions. When we are living in harmony, each of our organs is supported and can function optimally. The heart, for example, is said to house the spirit, it has a strong relationship with a bright, alert mind, clarity of thinking. When things are out of balance, there can be anxiety, insomnia and general agitation, even mania.

The liver is said to oversee the free flow of things, it is also the strategist. When our lives are happy, we can plan effectively. When they are not anger can become a problem.

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The kidneys have a strong relationship with fear.

When we overwork and constantly push we deplete the kidneys vitality and our own life force. The spleen can be taxed by overthinking, going over and over and over things. This can cause a foggy head, fatigue and a feeling of melancholy. The whole body can feel heavy and damp. It can feel as if we are living in a fog and are stuck not moving forward.

However, when the flow of life is respected the organs support one another and importantly support the whole being. Life is vital and alive. The energy of our lives flows and changes with grace, and we are able to live a fully productive and balanced life.

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About Philippa Youngs

 

Philippa Youngs has been educated and trained by some of the world’s most experienced Chinese Medicine Practitioners, Acupuncturists and Myotherapists at Australia’s prestigious universities. The dynamic natural health practitioner has spent decades honing her craft with a passion for helping families achieve their goals. To find out more about Philippa go to: http://philippayoungs.com.au

 

 

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