Pondering The World’s Strangest Toys

Written by Cassidy Krygger

We all had a favourite toy when we were kids. 

From dolls to cars, puzzles and blocks toys play a vital part in a child’s education and imagination. But there are some toys out there that are just plain weird and should not be allowed in any child’s playroom. Search the internet and you will find more than just a Chucky Doll. Here are some of the weirdest toys that have hit the shelves in the past 60 years.

Airborne Microbes Screaming Diseases -(The Fun Way to Spread Germs – WTH?) 

 We are pretty sure this toy has never been less appropriate than right now in 2020, but as the website proclaims “Instead of infecting people around you with real germs and not having any fun at all, now you can spread them much further and have a few laughs as well.” Each to their own I guess! 

Two-Headed Teddy Bear 

There is so much wrong with this that it is almost right? It looks like the makers of this creepy bear took the saying ‘Two heads are better than one” literally. We wish we could tell you that this toy was still available for purchase – but it’s not. Shame. I guess you could always make your own?

http://www.thelasttuesdaysociety.org/

Pee and Poo 

 Amazon lists the Pee & Poo plush toys  as currently unavailable and I honestly don’t understand why. This is the first item on this list I would buy. The possibilities are endless. I would love them on my desk at the Ponderings office. 

The Face Bank 

Why wouldn’t you want to put your coins in a Face Bank? And you can get them in all different colours, too! It’s a win/win! To truly understand the creepiness of this… thing, you must watch this YouTube Video to see it in action. 

Titanic Inflatable Slide 

I was beginning to think that these toys don’t actually exist in real life, but just in some weird corner of the internet. Unfortunately, I have actually seen one of these Titanic Inflatable Slides in the flesh at my local Summer Carnival and everytime I do, I always wonder “who thought this would be a good idea?”  It’s always too soon to cash in on other people’s grief. 

Poo Dough

I am sorry for all the poo talk in this article, but people really like making some weird poop toys. This delightful Play Dough also comes with a canister of yellow dough for your “corn and peanut accessories.” Just a big NO from me. Here’s the link if it’s a yes from you Amazon

Little Miss No Name 

Released in the 1960s and a different approach to the popular and glamorous Barbie Doll, Little Miss No Name came with no shoes and only a burlap sack for a dress. Not surprisingly, the doll wasn’t a success. There are a few on eBay for sale if you really want one. I won’t judge you. 

https://www.ebay.com/b/Little-Miss-No-Name/15991/bn_55190536

 Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow 

What kid doesn’t dream of milking a cow? I know I certainly did. Well back in the 1970s, you could! Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow was released in 1977 and PLEASE watch the commercial. It’s everything you will ever need to see. 

Well there you have it, 9 of the creepiest and honestly least offensive toys I could find from the depths of the Internet. 

I am grateful that I never came across these as a child, I don’t think I would have recovered from the trauma. I would love to know if you had one of these toys or something even weirder. 

Jump over to our Facebook page and inbox us your weirdest toy! 

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