Article by Kirsten Macdonald with contribution from Des Carter. 

Communicating with others can sometimes feel like a minefield. 

There are so many messages, perceptions and neurons firing that what should be simple can be anything but! After an overwhelming response to our article Secret Messages, What You See Isn’t Always What You Get, we decided to dig a bit more. 


We asked Des Carter; Kinesiologist, Linguistics practitioner, Holistic Human Development Therapist and Meditation Teacher about his insight into communication. 

Communication is a two-way process of sending and receiving messages and is effective when each person understands each other, however this two-way process can easily break down. 

Have you observed the people who only want others to listen to them, but do these people also understand that they need to listen to other people as well? With the principle of listening also comes the ability to effectively understand the things around us. 

Clear communication can be blocked when misunderstandings arise due to:

  • Different emotional states
  • Difference in personal values
  • Incongruence between verbal and non-verbal communication
  • Difference in the ways people interpret messages

If we listen to what we say and what we think, we would actually understand whether we’re making any sense or not. Clarity is not all about the way you manage the outside world, the answer is to go within yourself and manage your inner being that will enable you to identify the lack of clarity that needs to be identified. 

Remember: whatever requires clarity needs to be understood and if we don’t understand something, we need to take time to ask questions and listen to others.


To maintain attention in communication and situations, the “Grounding Technique” is a great way to calm the chatter of your mind. It also improves co-ordination and increases mental clarity and alertness.


Here’s how to do it:


Bend your knees a little and position your tongue on the roof of your mouth behind your top teeth, shrug your shoulders and shake your arms for a few moments to free up any tension.


Now focus on your feet and imagine them sinking down into the ground that supports them, imagine them feeling rooted deep into the earth.


Place the fingertips of your left hand beneath your lower lip in the centre of your chin and place the heel of your right hand over your navel with the fingertips of that hand pointing down towards the ground, breathe deeply and gradually slow your breathing down.


If you want to, you can imagine the colour red at the base of your spine, deep earthy red. Stay like this and hold your hands on these energy points for the next few moments.


Now push your feet down into the floor and switch hands, breathe deeply and allow yourself to let any tension go from your neck and shoulders. Remain like this for a few moments.


Then push your feet down into the floor and switch hands, focus on your feet and imagine them deeply rooted to the earth and remain again for a few moments, breathing deeply and steadily down into your stomach.


Grounding techniques such as this can be a really positive practise in your day to day life. Enjoy! 


A bit more about Des:

Des is an experienced Trainer, Kinesiologist, Reiki Practitioner, NLP Practitioner, Holistic Human Development Therapist and Meditation Teacher, who works in private practice. His passion is assisting people to develop their self-confidence and self-esteem enabling them to address any personal issues in their lives. In his previous occupation as a Senior Category Buyer with the Coles Myer Group he travelled extensively to India, China, Japan, South America, Europe and the USA where he experienced and observed a range of different cultures and traditions.


For more information go to 

JAX Tyres for Ponderings

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