Rotten Onions Turned Into Daffodils Bring On 2020

Words by Kirsten Maccdonald

What did 2019 teach me? Well I bring certain hard learned lessons aka Gifts into the new year of 2020.

 

The last seven years altered me in ways I could never have predicted, wanted to or dreamed of. 2019 delivered a doozy of delights. Lessons encrypted so tightly it was like trying to force open a Da Vinci codex.

Learning came faster than QANDA quips on climate change, and my heart was broken and mended repeatedly. There was a shower floor moment- a first…

A tiled floor is a tough place from which to get up and not because of my dodgy hips, I am actually quite nimble (old ballerina brag) but because it just got a bit too much. Life got too loud. The words “multiple haemorrhages in your brain, but its okay, you’re still stable”- were delivered.

A juxtaposition if I have ever heard one. Doesn’t make sense, does it? What a quandary. Humph and bother. I think the word hemorrhage means bleeding and bleeding into your brain isn’t delightful. It’s not a cut on your knee; you can’t put a stitch in it. And it’s not totally dire, because I am still here. I am completely and utterly, loudly alive.

My demands on myself to serve others became too big, and I personally think God’s head was shaking with a sigh, looking at me asking “are you quite finished yet?” Because there was universe work to do, and I was not keeping up my end of the bargain.

Conservation of energy and dedication to purpose with purpose was required POST HASTE.

Wrangling control of one’s life when you have become accustomed to doing so to survive is an art form. When the worlds smartest doctors just can’t fix you they can end up avoiding you because its all too complicated- becoming the master of your fate is a pretty healthy option.

The captain of my ship. Invictus anyone? Never a control freak of anyone else’s life- just my own- my destiny was in my hands loaded up to the titanium clips with faith. Are you laughing yet? A good joke I once heard was if you want you to make God laugh tell God your plans.

Because often what we have in mind for ourselves doesn’t even come close to the good things that we have the potential to enjoy.

 

But that will come later. Much later. I got up from the shower floor feeling like the last round of a punch drunk boxer, I quite literally after crying every ounce of fluid out of my body, snotty and exhausted. It was time now. One foot, then the other. Of course, it had to all to come out. We can’t be fierce and brave all the time.

This moment is the one we shall call surrender. To truly surrender, we must first recognise a few things. These were items on a spiritual shopping list I thought I already had in my pantry. It turns out the labels aren’t always accurate. More information is needed!

So what did I learn?

Number One

Emotions can be toxic. People have emotions. Therefore people can be toxic. Sometimes more toxic than Springfield lake. Fish with three eyes are the least of your problems. It isn’t always obvious either.

Toxic people are experiencing deep pain and trauma and have inadequate coping mechanisms or may have developed some tricky psychological schemas to deal with stuff.

Very often, it doesn’t belong to you and is actually none of your business.

It is instead a malady of misaligned perceptions. Sometimes on both sides too. Wish them well, wish them, love, reduce your time with them and do not make room for toxic behaviour in your life. A dear friend said to me; it only happens when you make the space for it. Accountability bites, doesn’t it? This one felt like a million piranas. Pay more attention to your environmentally supportive shopping habits, your garden, and supporting your community and family or fly a kite. Energy flows where your attention goes.

Will the life goals meet the expectation? Hobbies

Number 2

Cliche magic here humans; shine brightly and don’t apologise for your shiny bits even when other people think they are not shiny but rather pieces of glass sticking in their eyeballs. Because those “pieces of glass” are actually diamonds to others. Others that wrap you in love and you wrap em right back.

You are you. In the words of the great Seuss: Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.

Authenticity doesn’t appeal to everyone. Our need for social acceptance is a powerful desire, and subconsciously it can make us do weird things. Like toning our enthusiasm or joy down, for fear of rejection or “the look of disapproval” There is a strong urge to run backwards and not upset anyone by being you. Don’t listen. Success is not the antithesis to friendship! Otherwise you don’t have a friendship. Fear of success can be very real if you are also scared of losing relationships because of perceptions surrounding the so called “success.”

Fear of success and failure are genuine elements for those who have learned to turn down their volume as a child. Success in life in all its forms, but particularly happiness, intelligence, skills or unfiltered joy and even financial wealth can be a trigger for others.

If you are busy following your path and loving the heck out of those around you, you won’t have time to judge anyone else. There won’t be any room on the broom. You don’t need any excuses to be fabulous or unfabulous. It just is. 

Follow your path and be 100% you. Unless you are farting in public, scratching your crotch and picking your nose amongst other yucky things, cos that is just gross, my sister doesn’t like listening to people chew, and I can’t handle toenail clippings.

There needs to be some social engineering for our evolving sensibilities right? NO! Narcissists and gaslighters must also be identified, and you need to move gently away from this sphere.

Toxic emotions are not conducive to peace. A sphere captures bad vibes like a noxious gas.

When we shine, we prosper. 

Julia Lorent Yellow Office Ad

Number 3

Protect your positivity like a newborn baby you have wrapped in your arms. You have the right to experience joy as much as you want when you want. You are entitled to very little in life, but joy is one of them. So is sadness. The light and shade dance so eloquently together they can break your heart.

Number 4

The next cosmic whopper and I might very well be singing to the choir here, but it is okay not to be okay. You are whatever you are, and the emotions you are feeling right now are real and do not need validation. You are experiencing them. They just are.

You do not need to be stoic — no one hands out trophies for it, or a skippy badge.

When we fight feeling to make everyone around us feel better, we sometimes rob them from their moment of learning. We can get very quickly caught up like a kitten in string until it is so tight it threatens to strangle us. Too many threads can choke the mind and body.

Often when are the central figure of perceived strength in people’s lives, and we get vulnerable or focus on ourselves, it can make people feel abandoned or unsettled, restless and fearful. Their need for us to remain the same, or be restored quickly is strong because it helps them feel better. Safe. Anchored.

But here’s the thing, you should be no-one’s anchor. For if you are theirs, how do they steer their ship when it is meant to sail?

Never rob someone of the opportunity to grow and become strong in their own right even if it means watching them skin their knees along the way. This can be torture for the empath to witness without taking control of the situation and saving. Lifeguards are not needed here. A cheer squad can be good. People are allowed to have feelings, and it doesn’t mean they want you to fix them.

I learned the statement “I am having strong feelings about x right now, and this is okay. I will come back to you if that’s ok.” People can get angry when we feel things, and we can feel anxious when people are having a case of the feels, and we don’t know what they are. The answer: COMMUNICATE!

When you permit yourself, you permit others. By neglecting to do this, you can also plant seeds of guilt within yourself, causing pain in your body and mind. This is toxic on every level.

Number 5

Let the tears fall. Tears never hurt anyone. They might make people feel awfully uncomfortable. Still, space can be made for moisture falling from eyes, and when this happens, it can be sacred.

On the flip side, choose your friends carefully. Hello Captain Obvious. An old one but one that keeps popping up like a nasty case of herpes for me in 2019. Vulnerability is powerful, but it needs to be expressed with those you trust.

People that do not have the energy to respect you don’t need you in their life. Vulnerability is a gift. Thanks, Brene. Your lessons in boundaries were rippers.

Zombie apocalyptic movies taught me two things- Woody Harrelson will never lose his cool, and the double-tap is a metaphor to life. You need to learn lessons, but you don’t need to learn them twice. Placing people on a pedastool, they didn’t ask to be placed on causes an ouchy.

 

Number 6

Family is life. Blood relative or soul relative, don’t forget your family. We become so disconnected today we can forget who our tribe is. Childhood is powerful. Family bonds are sacred. We don’t always agree. Sometimes we fight. Even if you aren’t close or are disconnected physically- family is essential.

Every morning, I have a little ritual where I ask God to watch over every family member and send them my love. They get it. If you love your family, treat them well. Treat them like the jewels they are.

Because nothing lasts forever, and humans are particularly susceptible to death. It can separate us physically and make us wish for things we can’t get back.

Number 7

Feeling sorry for yourself and a having a shower floor moment is going to happen. But only for a while. Getting those suppressions out is crucial. Since 2012 I learned the key to optimism in action and the difference between ignorant positivity and positive living. Unconscious positivity means you don’t acknowledge the seriousness of what is going on and have a good case of denial.

Positive living means you know the different versions, and you understand the ability of the human body and the planet to overcome just about anything, so you do everything in your power to help make this happen. So allow self-pity momentarily.

Feeling sorry for yourself is like stubbing your tow and peeling the scab off every day, never allowing it to heal.

Number 8

Don’t like it?

Change it. Deal with it.

Wrangle with it. Learn it, understand it, reflect, ponder, and you will prosper. Flip it, reverse engineer it if you need to. Feeling sorry for ourselves only serves one purpose- it turns us into victims of life. Life is a gift, and you are a conquerer, a rider of the wave, a humble student.

Power of the most beautiful, incredible and lightest joy is at your very fingertips always like a sea breeze on the fringes of your heart waiting to come in.

If we cannot receive love or welcome the flow of abundance in our lives with the faith required, we cannot ever truly experience it.

It is like living in a steel-lined box, 1000 miles from anywhere and wondering why no one ever visits.

Everything in the universe has rhythm, so you can dance with it, or sit in the corner. It’s up to you.

 

Number 9

Say no thank you and remember sometimes people’s self-importance is a mirage. It isn’t real, and you don’t have to buy it.

Ponderings Magazine DIamons Tears Invictus

Number 10

Don’t think you have learned 1 through to 9, because just when you think you have they give you another big fat lesson to absorb. So go buy an Alpaca, they have big eyes, they love to listen and something tells me they don’t need to stand on pedastools.

Finally, the wise words of Maya Angelou

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

I confess there were only a few swear words muttered with the lights last year, even though they were a complete Clusterf*ck.

Here is to 2020; a year of possibilities and potential.

A Nourished Life With Eco Warrior Irene Falcone

A Nourished Life With Eco Warrior Irene Falcone

A Nourished Life With Eco Warrior Irene Falcone

Q&A With Irene Falcone Nourished Life

by Ponderings Radio

When you look up the word motivated, Irene Falcone really needs to be listed. 

The dynamic business woman found a passion and turned it into an empire for healthy living. After suffering from physical symptoms Irene looked at her beauty products and discovered a trove of toxins. Horrified and shocked, Irene started looking for products that DIDN’T contain toxins…it proved to be difficult. The journey began to source products that adhered to a strict code and it only seemed right to share this with the world. Fast forward, and Nourished Life has become one of the most successful online Australian businesses, a unicorn in an industry so very toxic.

 

1) How hard has it been with an emerging competitive eco-market to stay in your lane focused and energised? You really started a platform and opportunity – a unicorn, so now this landscape is changing is it an effort to stay in front mentally and strategically?

Honestly if I ever get stuck, for whatever reason, whether it’s wondering if I should stock a certain product or how I should improve my website, I actually just ask my customers. I have always asked for their opinions and listened because at the end of the day, that’s why I do what I do. I don’t always have the answer or know which direction to go, so I just ask.

2) Did you ever have a gulp moment, and get scared about putting yourself out there, even though you knew it would be successful? If so, how did you move past it and get on with it?

Before I left my corporate job to concentrate on Nourished Life full-time, I was definitely worried about making the leap because it was all such a huge unknown. But at the same time, I knew I was making the right choice. People were following my Facebook page, they were genuinely interested, engaged and wanted more, and I knew I was really onto something. I had a gut feeling and just followed it and never looked back.

3) Do you get excited as technology, nature and science emerge to make personal products more active?

Absolutely, and my goodness, there is some incredibly exciting stuff happening now. There are brands who have literally created their own extraction methods to basically take a plant and put it straight into a bottle, so it’s still full of all the plant’s nutrients. Not only that but there are also massive innovations happening in packaging – compostable and biodegradable packaging, and now we can recycle any other plastic bottles, tubes, almost anything through Terracycle so that they can actually be made into new products like benches, tables and even playground equipment.

4) Is it getting difficult to research companies, and sustainability for natural product – production? Agricultural strain can be an issue with demand, how do you future proof?

Sustainability is incredibly important so I look for products with sustainably and ethically sourced ingredients or materials, usually backed up by certifications and transparent practices. There are some well-established brands who have actually used their own organic plantations and biodynamic farms to grow their ingredients for a long time – they have set an amazing example for the entire natural health and beauty industry, and hopefully even more brands will be able to follow in their footsteps in future.

6) Do you have a quirky habit?

I wake up in the middle of the night and have to get up to check that I’ve turned the oven off… even if I haven’t used it!

7) If you could sum up authenticity in a sentence what would it be?

To me, authenticity is not caring about what everyone else is doing but forging your own path instead.

8) As a kid, what was your favorite play time activity?

Riding my BMX!

9) Do you follow a spiritual practise?

No but I do try to meditate when I remember – it’s a really great way for me to relax, refocus and just be mindful.

10) What is the most important aspect of a Nourished Life team member?

I have a pretty good handle on people’s energy. It’s hard to describe, but I get a gut feeling and I can tell when someone is a perfect fit. I can see their commitment, their passion and their determination and I just know they’re truly dedicated to natural health and beauty.

Irene continues to grow Nourished Life, you can listen to her podcast Talking Clean With Irene  and check out the dynamic platform taking the country by storm and setting the standard for companies Nourished Life. 

We acknowledge the people of the Kulin Nation, on whose unceded sovereign land we work. We pay our respects to their Elders, past, present and emerging.

Indigenous Australian Flag

Crumpets and Farting Rainbows

Crumpets and Farting Rainbows

Crumpets and Farting Rainbows

words by Kirsten Macdonald

Waxing lyrical about a majestic universe or avoiding A-Hole retrograde? You have come to the right place.

 

Humans of the earth I am going to cut right to the chase: where does the need for people to be un-nice come from? Truly?

Lately it feels like a-hole retrograde and social media words blowing out like radioactive solar flares – power obesity across the globe? Inequality tipping the scales in a dangerously precarious position, the children are about to fall out it seems.

When an activity puts others in dangers’ way or is harmful, interruption is necessary. The person/s guilty of said behaviour needs to be re-educated. But how? It all just a bit too much, isn’t it? Everyone in each other’s space, business and socials, criticising everything from parenting to little girls trying to save the world. We had one of those before, her name was Joan. She was burned at the stake. This one is being held high enough above the lick of flames. It took long enough though right?

Seriously- what the heck? Why should you care if so and so earns this amount, or that person’s parenting wasn’t what you envisioned it should be? Does he earn more than you and its not fair? Do you kick the footy enough with your son? Perhaps you shouldn’t have eaten that piece of chocolate? Oh Bother.

Don’t forget the pop culture and etiquette of smashed avo and saving a deposit for the thing we sleep under. Perfectionado city. According to Neil Degrassi Tyson astrochemists have gone from knowing nothing of molecules in space to finding a plethora of them practically everywhere. Anne Lorimor, an 89 year old just climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, breaking a Guinness World Record. The world is an amazing place full of unexpected delights and as humans we are capable of incredible feats. Surely making a dedicated world effort to kindle compassion and authentic connection should be on the agenda?

Do you laugh too loud or my personal favourite- are you just TOO ENTHUSIASTIC or passionate? C’mon really? I’m going to own the last one. Too enthusiastic. Am I? Yup. Like a Meercat on happy pills. Unless its Sunday, then I am a sloth on Smirnoff.

I once asked my doctor many years ago if I should be on antidepressants to counteract a period of melancholy; his response while retrospectively refreshingly honest was shocking.He burst out laughing. Heartily. A robust laugh. Which is quite seriously undebatable really. Because my melancholy was real and I have fought it my whole life.

I live hard and on purpose, I smell the roses with gusto and understand calm. 

 My friends call me Polly though because I have tendencies that flow towards flipping the situation into a positive. It must get annoying. (positive polly with her perspective gymnastics) 

I am not THAT positive. I don’t fart rainbows and wax lyrical all the time. I do not. I am totally guilty of loving the hell out of the people close to me. They get frequently told how awesome I think they are, but this is the truth. It is actually why we are friends because my friend detector is honed into awesomeness. Yeah I know right?

Comedians everywhere. But have you met my friends? I may not have been blessed with both eyelids, but God made up for it with friendship. If friendships were braziers, I’d have a K cup. Let’s be real here, I need some wins. K cup friendships might not save lives or obliterate aneurysms, but they certainly create treasures worth keeping.

For the record too, just because your health might be up poo creek without a paddle doesn’t mean you are not allowed to be happy or positive. Reality can co-exist.

So why am I pondering judgy people, criticism and defending my position on the positivity aspect you ask? Well, it’s Nellie Florence’s fault. AKA my Nanna. It was her influence that instilled the ideology to treat others the way you would like to be treated. The tricky bit is, my expectations then tend to be high of other people. I really struggle when people are unfriendly or unkind. This is tricky.

For example, I would never in a million years demand that another human go and buy crumpets at 7.30 am when the aforementioned human is doing their daily business in the bathroom. That’s just not cricket. I would never judge someone for their unco-ordinated running man.I never wish bad thoughts upon anyone either, another farting rainbow Kirsten thing.

The multiplicity of our human experience makes us like salt and pepper, when we mix it all up and shake it enough it all becomes lovely shades of grey. Incapable of separation because it all becomes one. Alan Watts style. If we thought about it all a bit more objectively perhaps we could preclude non-kindness.

We are built for survival. So I am wondering why the frontal cortex hasn’t established a decent relationship with the primal cortex. Not a reality TV show one with back stabbing and undie dropping. The long termer, finish each other’s sentence kind of one with a big cupid smooch. Good old Frontal is reason, primal is function and instinct.

Ok, so let’s put those two darlings together and create the pathway that goes like this- my legs won’t move unless I am kind. Before you can eat or scratch your ear- you would have to say to the people around you :

“Have I treated you the way you would like to be treated today?”

What the response would be?

Imagine if this was a prerequisite to social discourse? Customer service would make us blush with joy. Sex lives would be magically enhanced across the world, people with disabilities celebrated, and differences rejoiced. Wars ended, world leaders high fiving each other…whale hunters weeping at the destruction on the ship’s decks, snobbery abandoned, hunger destroyed, child marriages and exploitation might no longer exist.

Would our faith in each other grow? Would the homeless be housed? The hungry fed? The unloved be loved? This is my pondering. 

When we are kind, are there strings attached?

The strings are the expectation people might do the same if the situation was reversed. Where did this expectation of others having to be nice comes from? Yup, it was a childhood mantra. Problem is these days’ people get all tangled up in their own stuff. What happens when people don’t return the favour, and you are left like a kitty up a tree, and the branch is ‘abendin? 

 ‘‘Concentrate on YOU’’ is thrown at us every day, look after yourself first. Spend more time on you and less on others is blasted across the emotional airways. Look I am all for self-nurture, but if we are THAT tied up in our own stuff are we at threat of slowly growing narcissistic? The canaries looking in the mirror, preening their feathers. Quip of the day- Want to know how a narcissist is doing? Tell them about you.

Perhaps this is all about energy maintenance, staying in our own lane only to reach out and love another when guided to. 

For we are all our own creatures on a journey in this place, are we not?

I know when we conserve our energy and pour it into focussed areas that are sourced from an intuitive truth- we can only learn and grow. We can also create healthy boundaries. This includes unnecessary crumpet purchases and saying no to the mother’s group catch up where everyone hates someone and has a serious case of twisted knickers.

My mantra- always be kind to each other, be brave and enjoy the time you have with the people close to you as best you can. I know I will be. And children of Australia; please darlings, please let your parents have some private bathroom time, when something is evacuating your body, alone time is essential.

We acknowledge the people of the Kulin Nation, on whose unceded sovereign land we work. We pay our respects to their Elders, past, present and emerging.

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Lucy in the Sky with Blinders

Lucy in the Sky with Blinders

Lucy in the Sky with Blinders

Lucy McEvoy is an AFLW player. A Carlton player to be precise.

A bluebagger that might have ground curators shaking in their loafers. They might want to upgrade their Bermuda turf protection, as this burgeoning star prepares to rip up the field and take position. Described by sports commentators as a dazzling talent, Lucy McEvoy is a young sportswoman to watch. She is refreshingly open with a keen sense of humour and grin so big you can’t help but grin back- but she is not to be underestimated on the ground. The recent Carlton draft pick plays football with a tenacity that is compelling and fierce. 

I had the absolute pleasure of interviewing Lucy on the eve of the draft at her home on the Bellarine Peninsula.

K: You were a promising basketballer, when did you know you wanted to swap to footy and when was the choice locked in?

L: I was selected in the first national side in 2016 at 14 years of age. I thought this is cool. I loved it, and it was so much more fun and physical than basketball. I loved the atmosphere and the competition. 

K: What do you love most about football? 

L: You get to play with your friends, the training is awesome, it’s fun, and the game is full of really good people. They just want to play footy and have fun with the game. I think its all about the culture and the vibe of the team. 

K: What’s your favourite position? 

L: Midfield, because I have been able to learn so much. But I actually enjoy all of them. 

K: The idea of tackling and falling so hard and being physically dominant in competition puts the fear of God into me, what do you love about it? 

L: I love the physicality of it, the tackling of it. It’s the only sport you can do it in without being abused. When I started playing footy, it sort of crossed over into basketball! So taking a screamer over a player and trying to stop tackling the players wasn’t working well (big grin inserted- told you she was funny.) Seriously though, pushing your body to its limits to see what you can do and with a team in play is the best. 

K: Outside of training, what do you do for fun or relaxation?

L: I walk the dog, Dudley, the German Sheppard cross Jack Russell. (He’s charming and looks baffled ponderers.)

K: Favourite athlète and why? 

L: Dustin Martin – he’s so good, you know when he gets the ball he’s going to do something good with it every time. 

K: Growing up, was there a particular person you looked up to or looked to for advice with sport?

L: There were a lot of good people, but Brendan Matthews- my Basketball coach from 8 to 16 was brilliant in giving me advice and guiding what I needed to do to improve in general in sport. 

K: Is it overwhelming coming into this newly recognised and supported arena or is it exciting, especially Carlton.  

L: Exciting. It is so exciting to get in there and see this happening, and it is a little bit surreal because it is so new. 

K: What do your family and friends think about it all? 

L: I think they’re proud (she’s humble) but everyone is super supportive.  I have a great group of mates and good people around me. 

K: If you had a choice of travel, where would you love to go? 

 L: I don’t have the travel bug yet really, but Australia, there is so much to see. I want to see all of it! 

K: Fave Comedian?

L: Kevin Hart  – he’s hilarious and quick. 

K: What do you wish was different about the attitudes toward women in sport and the male dominance aspect of opinion and performance? 

L:  I think its starting to change, I still feel like if it hasn’t come from a man, it’s not seen as relevant. There’s a little less recognition, but it is changing. I really look up to AFLW pioneer – Susan Alberti, – if you are in that environment, you have a duty to protect it and tell them what you think. This is what she does. 

 

K: Is the women’s competition of a high standard yet in your opinion, given the newness of it all? 

L: Oh yeah. The skills and abilities of the women players are really upping the competition. There are some injuries of concern, like ACLs and concussions, but this is changing. Things like running head-on to pick up the ball are stuff boys have been getting taught not to do since they were little.  There are motor skills and learned reflexes we are catching up on quickly, and it’s already a high quality game. 

 K: How did you go when you were younger playing with the boys? 

 L: The boys on my team were always really good. Sometimes at the start of a game, the other team would throw a bit of banter around about getting beaten by a girl, I wasn’t afraid to say something back. I’d give them a bit of banter back. I pushed, I wasn’t going to be pushed- gained some respect when they could see I could play. I’d go out and smash it, that was always fun to see the look on faces. (She laughs.) But most boys were supportive and inclusive.  I am still great mates with many of them today.

 K: Does anything really bother you?

 L: Most things negative or anything that is water off a duck’s back, I don’t get fussed by much or bothered. 

 K: Social media-obsessed? 

 L: (laughs) No. It’s good to see what people are doing, but I am not consumed by it.

 K: Treehouse or Cubbyhouse?

 L: Cubbyhouse, I think- so I could see everything. That’s a really cool question. 

 

We acknowledge the people of the Kulin Nation, on whose unceded sovereign land we work. We pay our respects to their Elders, past, present and emerging.

The State of Being Faye – Changing Health for Australians

The State of Being Faye – Changing Health for Australians

The State of Being Faye – Changing Health for Australians

words by Kirsten Macdonald

When I first met Faye Kendall, I knew she was someone I would like to interview one day.

With a keen sense of understanding people and a high intelligence hidden beneath a humble smile, Faye is somewhat of an enigma around Geelong. Her passion for preventative health feels like a thunderstorm brewing – encapsulated in a crystal clear jar of strategy that is before her time. It will rain on a barren land, screaming for health restoration.

 

Her recent growth of business Whole Body Health and Wellness has people talking and for good reason, but we wanted to know the why behind the woman. She is a Doctor of Osteopathy, humanist, traveller and entrepreneur, Faye is incredibly candid in this interview as we dig deep to find out the connection between body, mind and health.

Why do you like helping people? 

Helping people is a natural part of being human, and I think that we all help each other in lots of different ways without realising it. Smiling at a stranger, taking the time to listen to someone who needs to talk, cooking someone a meal or offering to lend a hand to someone in need are all ways in which most of us help each other every day.

It’s when we all help each other that healthy communities are formed. When I’m able to help someone (whether that’s at work or not), that person then has a greater capacity to help someone else in return, and then it just becomes a continuum. 

 

In our clinic I have people who come in with a specific problem that they can’t fix on their own, so they ask for help, so there is a set structure around the way in which I am helping someone.

 

A.T. Still says- 

Science which consists of such exact, exhaustive, and verifiable knowledge of the structure and function of the human mechanism, anatomical, physiological and psychological, including the chemistry and physics of its known elements, as has made discoverable specific organic laws and remedial resources, within the body itself, by which nature under the scientific treatment peculiar to osteopathic practice, apart from all ordinary methods of extraneous, artificial, or medicinal stimulation, and in harmonious accord with its own mechanical principles, molecular activities, and metabolic processes, may recover from displacements, disorganization, derangements, and consequent disease, and regained its normal equilibrium of form and function in health and strength.

 

Do you agree?

F.K: I wholeheartedly agree with Dr Still. We are just as much a part of nature as any other living organism. Therefore our natural state of being is health. Disease and injury are temporary states of imbalance within our bodies that occurs when we (or the environment we live in) is out of sync. Science has proven over and over again that with the right environment, our bodies have an innate capacity to heal.

As practitioners, we have a choice between treating the disease or treating the health in our patients. By working with and acknowledging the health that is present in all of us we get to help the body correct the imbalances that led to the unhealthy parts forming in the first place while also working to maintain equilibrium and homeostasis within the body. This is what true preventative health is.

When did you decide to become an Osteopath, and why choose this? 

 

I was in my first year of doing P.E. teaching at Uni when I found out about Osteopathy. I was really interested in the details of anatomy and physiology covered in the course. I hadn’t heard of Osteopathy before, when I researched the philosophy behind the practice of Osteopathy, it really resonated. Particularly that our bodies can self-heal and that osteopaths look at the patient as a whole person.

 

How does Osteopathy shine a light on deeper issues for people? 

Osteopaths are always looking for the true cause of the problem, which often isn’t overly transparent when you are dealing with organisms as complex as humans!

 

If a firefighter were called to a house fire because the neighbours reported large amounts of smoke coming from the house- and then proceeded to address the smoke while ignoring the fire, then we would all ask why the firefighter was just treating the smoke and not the fire. Yet when it comes to health care, our medical system seems to be well set up for identifying and treating symptoms but is lacking the tools to look for and treat the cause of the symptoms.

Osteopathic training has its educational roots in traditional western medicine, yet its philosophy is based on natural medicine. We are trained to look for and treat the cause of the problem to help alleviate the symptoms that our patients are presenting. Sometimes this is straightforward, and other times there are multiple factors at play. Two people may present with the exact same symptoms. But this doesn’t mean the cause of those symptoms is exactly the same. This, in turn, may result in a different treatment for each person as opposed to a one size fits all approach.

You have created a health clinic, with specialists from Osteopaths to Psychologists, Naturopathy, Chinese Medicine, in fact over 9 different offerings. From a business perspective, bringing the very best practitioners from different modalities under an umbrella is clever. I have seen you have the addition of digital overlays and flow through aftercare as well as a luxe approach- this is unique and if I can say, quite revolutionary. Especially in a time where we hear and read reports of an over strained health care system. Why did you take this approach?

It was time to do something different. To truly be proactive rather than reactive and give a quality to health that was new and fresh is the drive behind this.  There are lots of different modalities in the health care setting that can help people get better. We can collaborate and brainstorm together to create the best outcomes for our patients.

 

Why is referral within a space of multi-discipline approach so important to you? Not everyone is doing it, so why are you doing it?

From a patient’s perspective, we also want to make it as easy as possible for them. We also regularly refer to practitioners outside of our clinic. If we believe care will come from a practitioner outside of our practice, we refer our patient there.

 

Do you meditate? 

For me, life offers lots of opportunities to meditate in different ways, so I don’t have a set daily practice but rather take the opportunity to meditate whenever it arises.

When I work as a cranial osteopath, I’m engaged in the present moment, and I need my mind to be aware of what is happening so that it can observe the treatment process without getting in the way. I’ll often go out into nature where I can swim in the ocean or walk through the forest. These are the things that centre and ground me.

How does WBHW reflect you? 

WBHW started as a solo practitioner clinic, so the foundations of what our clinic has become somewhat intertwined with how I live my life.

There’s a limit to how much one person can achieve on their own. When there is a community of people all supporting one another and working together, then the environment in which we live becomes stronger and healthier. (Just like a body.)

 

Who is the most interesting person you know and why?

I have a lot of interesting people in my life, but if I have to pick one, it would be my friend John. Apart from being genuinely interested in EVERYTHING- he’s passionate about the things he loves, is always learning and willing to try something new and doesn’t try to hide his quirks.

What do you wish everyone knew about their body?

Everything in the human body comes from a single cell. When you look at a particular bone, muscle, joint or organ in isolation without considering the effect that tissue has on the body as a whole, you are only getting one piece of the puzzle.

Your influencer is…

Right now it’s Brene Brown. She inspires me to be brave even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it’s hard and even when I want to take the easy road. It’s the little choices every day that make the difference.

 

Favourite author and why…

Eckhart Tolle. Sometimes you read a book that completely changes the way you look at life. For me, that was’ A New Earth’.

 

If life could be summed up in a quote. What would it be?

 

Dr Seuss – “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

 

Unapologetically Her

Unapologetically Her

Inspired Read

What does it take to climb a mountain of adversity as a child, to find yourself as an adult in a place of complete devastation? Sitting with the realisation you are deeply unhappy. ..

Unapologetically Her

Words: Kirsten Macdonald

For one Australian woman,  the decision to alter her life would carry an enormity and bring challenges she could never conceive of. The outcome?  She has become the embodiment of grit, positive change and possibility.

Telia Tonkin was 38 years old, weighed 159 kgs, standing 175 cms tall. Carrying physical and emotional weight and in an unhappy marriage,  the mother to two beautiful kids realised if she did not make a change, she would die. For her, it was a straight forward action, there was no-in-between. 

 Life was about to change dramatically.

 

“As a teenager, I would walk down the street with my friends, who were all thin. People would approach and look at me first; I always told myself it was because I was the fat one.”

“I always felt different from my friends, the outsider because of this. It is interesting though isn’t it? What we believe to be true, because those friends, my best friends to this day also had their own self-beliefs and insecurities. But at the time, my feeling of alone was big. People would look at me, and I always felt it was because of my size.” 

 

The root cause of her attachment to food was forged in emotional distress, comfort eating and resentment eating. A toxic trio that would create difficulty in her life. “There were adults in my life who constantly told me I was fat and lazy, so I believed it, and ate to rebel and in spite.”

 

Fast forward years later, a successful teaching degree in her hand,  a move to Queensland and a brilliant police force job, Telia married, had children and paused.

 

“I knew that not only would I have to make a total body transformation, but a total mind change. I started to see things so much clearer, I was abundantly aware of the mistakes I had made, both physically and mentally. I had two young children, I couldn’t go on being so unhappy, pretending to the outside world that my life was fantastic, hiding my tears, dreading that car ride home from work, back to that unhappy house, which was supposed to be a home.”

“But isn’t home where you should feel safe? You should be able to express yourself without concern of the consequences? I didn’t have a home, I was in a house, I was simply treading water, and I couldn’t stand it one more minute. My children are my world. You know the oxygen mask theory? You need the mask first so you can give the kids oxygen? So I left, I packed up my two children and drove away. I rented a house near their school and started living for myself again. I became a better person and a better mother because of that decision. My energy went just into my journey to health and that flowed through to my children.”

 

The dedicated mother had always enjoyed a passion for sport from a girl, and it was this that pushed her forward.

Bootcamp training, nutrition advice and a commitment to a gruelling transformation would fuel the next path Telia took.

“I started to focus on my love for weightlifting, training for a sport like that can be brutal. Training twice a day, 6 days a week. My children embraced my love for exercise, they would ride their bikes as I ran, they would come to training with me and sit quietly in the creche. Not once did they make me feel guilty about following my passion. They were proud of their mum, they would tell everyone at school that they had the strongest Mum in the world.”

Telia lost half her body weight and started to gain her confidence and the progressive feeling of shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one. The positive was much more enticing and it paid off. 

 

The next step was competitive weight lifting. The last two years Telia returned home from the State Masters with a silver medal.

 

 

 “Some would say that winning a silver was amazing. But for me,  being second best in Queensland just wasn’t enough.” 

 

In March 2018 Telia competed in the Queensland Masters Weightlifting Championships in Milton, Brisbane.

 

The trip to Melbourne for Nationals paid off. 

 “I achieved 6 out of 6 lifts, equal personal best. But do you know the best part, I won Silver! I didn’t come second, I won Silver! There’s a massive difference let me tell you. So do you know who I am? I’m second best in Australia for my age and weight category in Masters Weightlifting! I’m number one in Queensland, I’m the strongest mum in the world (according to my children.) But most of all;  I’m happy. If people notice me now, its because of my hair, or something positive. My life is mine, no longer under the weight of so much.” The metaphor is not lost.

 

“I’d done everything right, trained hard, stuck to my diet, remained focused, I felt good. I couldn’t have done anymore more going into this meet. To be honest I don’t remember much about the day. I remember I was so focused, just took one lift at a time, didn’t think too far ahead, didn’t worry what the other lifters were doing, kept my mind clear from negative thoughts, those negative thoughts that were dragging me down for years.”

“I lifted in the snatch first, 3 out of 3 lifts, they were fantastic lifts and I was so damn proud of how I remained focused. I was equal first going into the Clean and Jerk, I knew what I had to do. When they announced that Telia Tonkin was Queensland Champion, I cried, I couldn’t control my emotions. For three long hard years I had wanted this so bad, and now it was mine! GOLD! Number one in Queensland! After I composed myself, I realised I had qualified from the National Champions in May to be held in Melbourne. I thought, you know what, I’m going to do this, bugger it! I’m going to represent my State at Nationals.” And so she did.

And you know what Ponderers? With cropped blonde hair, striking eyes and ornate tattoos, Telia is bold and edgy, funny and incredibly real.  The attractive and tenacious woman is unapologetically her. The jokes come fast, and her brave and brutal honesty screams of an authenticity that is rare these days.

So who inspires Telia Tonkin? “My children and my siblings and their partners are my scaffolding, they are my world and source of strength and love.”

“One aspect I have noticed is that many people become so insecure about their partner making change, that they seem to get some satisfaction about making you feel guilty for putting yourself first every now and then. Or people who project their own stuff on you. Some people like to keep you in one space to make themselves feel good. This still baffles me. So many women stay in unhappy situations because they are afraid of the financial implications, they are afraid of being alone, all fear based.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, and act. Because the funny thing is, when you give yourself permission to find happiness, and seek it out- you are never alone because you find the most important person- yourself.”

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