Tales From The Authory

Tales From The Authory

Karen Brooks Tales from The Authory Ponderings Magazine

 

As someone who is fortunate enough to make a living from writing (historical fiction and a weekly newspaper and advice column), I often get asked what my writing process is like and what inspires me.

 

I wish I could say something really clever or divulge some kind of shared magic. Better still, I’d love to be able to say I sit in front of my computer in a dreamy haze, mounds of chocolate biscuits to one side, dressed in pyjamas, and let my fingers glide over the keyboard as stories pour forth in an unstoppable rush. I wish. The truth is, sadly, really dull. Writing, whether fiction or fact, is a hard grind for me. Not “hard” in the way other people’s jobs are (and ones I’ve had in the past), but in a sense, I take writing very seriously; treat it as a business (after all, I’ve deadlines, contracts, other people who rely on me). I work at it for set hours every day, and rewrite, edit, cut and delete in order to try and create the best stories and columns I possibly can. It doesn’t always come easy and certainly needs a lot of refining.

The Road For Hope Cancer Journey From Ponderings Magazine

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

 

Let me tell you how I approach novel writing…

 

Which is far more interesting than admitting how, akin to a (boring) sponge, I absorb as many newspapers and TV bulletins daily in order to write topical columns that contribute to social debate and prick the conscience – and generally make myself miserable about the state of the world in the process (but that’s another story).

 

When I start a new book, I tend to read a great deal of relevant historical non-fiction and fiction and completely immerse myself in the era. I spend months before I commence ordering books, journals, and documents; everything from court transcripts to academic treatises, maps, Ph.D.’s, to wonderful novels by talented writers set in the same period. I spend one-two years researching, usually while I’m in the editing and final stages of the previous book.

Ponderings Online Magazine Tanya Breen Art Creative

I take copious notes, re-read books, pour over maps and any paintings or photographs, and watch documentaries pertinent to the time as well. Then, when I feel I’m ready, I write. (I usually know because I can’t NOT write.)

 

I already know how the book will start and end.

 

But, how the book unfolds and where the characters take me is a complete mystery. In that sense, I am more a pantster (writing by the seat of my pants) than a plotter.

 

Listening to music composed in the era is really motivating, as is burning scented candles to evoke moods. I’ve been fortunate enough to travel to the places I write about (if not the time – where’s Dr. Who and the Tardis when you need her?), so my photos and recollections while in situ are so helpful.

 

As for my inspiration…

 

Apart from history, and everything else mentioned, especially other people’s wonderful words and music, and my wonderful dogs, it’s people who are my main inspiration. The dead and the living.  All the crazy, terrible, unjust and cruel as well as loving, heroic, brave and foolish things we do – to each other and ourselves – in the past and now.

 

It constantly depresses, challenges, emboldens and inspires me, to write, to ponder and to think about how we can all be better. I think about how I can write stories that capture what makes us who we are and where we can be and which fire the imagination. Then, I just hope like hell people like reading them as much as I love writing them.

 

I don’t know any author who sets out to write a book (or journalist a column or story) that doesn’t excite and move people. I’m no different. I just wish I was better at it too.

 

About Karen:

Dr. Karen Brooks: is an Author,  columnist, social commentator and academic. Karen is also a part of a gorgeous brewery in Tasmania with her partner. The brewery and the authory keep her busy! 

www.karenrbrooks.com

Twitter: KarenBrooksAU

Associate Professor and Honorary Senior Research Fellow IASH, Institute for Advanced Studies in the Humanities, University of Queensland.

Columnist for the Courier Mail.

Advice columnist for U On Sunday

Join Karen for great conversations and sharing on FaceBook: Karen Brooks Author – love to have you!

Director: Sara Douglass Enterprises

www.saradouglassworlds.com

www.nonsuchkitchengardens.com

 

 

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A Transformative Life

A Transformative Life

Jillie Carter Article Ponderings

There is a photograph of Jillie A. Carter as a young school teacher and beauty queen…

 

Her delicate features and radiance shining from the picture, the kindness in her eyes stands out in a way that says “I am here to help people.” I saw this picture once on a visit to her home tucked away in the hill rise of Geelong. I was taken aback, many decades later her external beauty had not faded one scrap, and in addition to the elegance and kindness in her eyes, there is a wisdom of ages that validates this did in fact happen. Jillie A. Carter has indeed helped people.

 

 

The Road For Hope Cancer Journey From Ponderings Magazine

 

 

 

With a career spanning more than 40 years dedicated to the service and well-being of others, Jillie has walked the road less traveled.  From the offices of the corporate world to the classrooms of our children and the vulnerable space of women’s shelters- Jillie has been a guide for transformation. An advocate for the broken and inspirational.

 

Jillie has a trove of chapters in her story, but it is the one about her guidance from Louise Hay back in the formative days we thought you may enjoy.

 

Some influential humans have impacted holistic healing in the world, but one that genuinely ensorcelled the world is Louise Hay. The incredible author, mentor, and movement maker has impacted the lives of millions of people around the world and continues to do so via Hay House, a legacy that carries on her work internationally after her passing in 2017.

Jillie became acquainted with Louise’s work in the late 1970s, and what has ensued is a journey of servitude to others and a life of healing.

 

planet spectrum

What Drove You to Start Your Self Awareness and Healing Journey?

I read Louise ’s book “ You Can Heal Your Life  “ which had a profound effect on me.

Before this, I had been to wellness retreats in Australia and had delved into meditation. I heard about Louise’s courses coming to Australia and I was interested in it but was procrastinating about going.

In sheer frustration in listening to my procrastination, my husband dialed the phone number for Louise ’s course, handed me the phone and I found myself talking to Patricia Crane, Louise Hay’s co-worker who assisted Louise with the writing of the workshop manuals for the Teacher Training and  Personal Coaching.

The Teacher Training Course involved about 35 people from different parts of Australia, coming together to connect with the aim being to change their life.

Geelong Social Media Link

 

 

This course was to be a powerful channel for me to investigate and acknowledge the resentment, guilt, and feelings of not being good enough that I held deep within my own being.

So off I flew to Perth, Western Australia, to undertake the Louise L. Hay Teacher Training Course. This was a unique opportunity to get close to Louise’s work as it was the first time a training course based on her book was to be run in Australia. It was a life-changing, intense and nurturing environment exploring extensive therapies.  

As well as the Louise L. Hay growth exercises we were introduced to her Mirror work. Each one of us had a mirror into which we were to look and say out loud “I Love Myself.”

How powerful was this exercise?

 

Most of us were in tears because this was just too threatening. Gradually we learned about the power of affirmations and the steps to arriving at being able to say “ I Love Myself. “

Later in September of the same year, “The Advanced Training Course/ Personal Coaching Course” was run in California U.S.A. and off I went. This gave me a qualification to work one to one with people as a “Personal Life Coach.” The past eighteen years I have worked with a wide range of clients including professional, trade, students and people from multicultural and diverse backgrounds.

The training I received enabled me to identify client specific issues and apply the relevant healing process required within a safe and confidential environment. It was a beautiful collection of tools to add to the work I love to do. To this day I continue to incorporate Louise L. Hay’s philosophies in my healing work.

What was Louise Hay like in the flesh?

 

She had an amazing presence, and I could see a violet aura around her which appeared to be huge. In one of her first books, I presented to her  “ Love Your Body” she wrote “ LOVE LIFE JILLIE” in violet ink. I still treasure this.

 

We hear in conversations about personal growth the importance of Inner Child Work which Louise was an advocate for. Can you explain why this is important?

 

To go into the heart to meet your inner child enables you to surround her/him with love denied through physical, mental and or sexual interference and to replace anything negative that happened in childhood with positive unconditional love. If you had any form of abuse in your life as a child, shock or continuously being put down by others whether parents, siblings or friends, these hurt feeling stay locked in your heart and as hard as you try you can never feel relaxed, happy or that you have achieved your goal. Often those who have been hurt as children are high achievers as some part of them is crying out be recognized. This work also goes to the subconscious mind for transformation. This may lead to new career opportunities, new relationships, high self-esteem, confidence, travel, try new ventures and lead a fulfilling and rewarding life.

 

 

How does helping people to heal impact your life?  

 

I enjoy seeing people become whole and well so they can fully embrace a positive life. There is a joy that comes with this work, to teach others to step into their own power, balance and self-harmony are incredibly rewarding.

 

Why is being of service to others important?

 

I went through a period of transformation which has enabled me to fully embrace beautiful things in life. I want to continue this service to others while I am alive on this planet, and my health allows me to continue this healing work.

 

It is in this response that I reflect there has not been a time when Jillie has not actually been in service to others during her career.

 

 

In the Ponderings office, we are quite fond of Kahlil Gibran.

This quote from him reminds me of Jillie and her loving kindness.

 

“The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.”  

 

 

More About Jillie A. Carter:  In addition to a corporate career in Non For Profits Organisations spanning decades, Jillie has spent over 40 years developing an entire scope of modalities and qualifications that are a seamless reflection of assisting people in transforming their lives. Jillie is a celebrated keynote speaker, facilitator and specialist guide with a focus on transformational healing, guidance, meditation, mind-body connection, and personal growth.

 

For more information about Jillie go to: https://www.facebook.com/Jillie-A-Carter-Transformational-Concepts-2103440829899812/ and Natural Therapy Pages

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5 Ways To Stay True To Your Business Vision

5 Ways To Stay True To Your Business Vision

5 Ways to Stay True to Your Business Vision Ponderings Australia Magazine

 

Let’s assume you know your business vision and why you are doing what you do. It can be so easy to get caught up in the daily.

 

So how do you stay on track in the fast-paced environment of a small business where you juggle so much? According to ASBFEO, In 2015, there were 1,980,401 small businesses in Australia. That’s a lot of business and I know in the journey of our success there are some important steps I have introduced to help stay on track. Because being in a sustainable business isn’t just about financial success, it is about your personal path, your inspiration and your self awareness within the business you run. When you put it all together it creates a culture of integrity, which is both infectious to others and can bring rewards to your hand and heart.

 

1) Know what gives you pleasure and satisfaction

The privilege of working in the hair & beauty industry over the last three decades holds the pleasure of connecting with women every day, and nothing is more satisfying than hearing “Thank you, I feel amazing.”  

Working out your signature offerings, over and above your day to day products/services that time and again add value to your end user will return pleasure and satisfaction to you in ways you can’t imagine.

That deep moisturizing hair masque with 10 min scalp massage takes an everyday haircut to a new level.  Eyebrow shape & tint + lash tint completely transforms a guest having a haircut and color from the shoulders up. What are your enhancing equivalents in your business? Once you know them be loud and proud. Don’t keep them a secret.

 

2) Have a question you run your decisions by

Will ‘xyz’ help my guests look and feel amazing?  What is the fail-proof question you could run your daily questions past and help you feel confident in your decision-making process. 

 

3) Recognize you only have a certain amount of energy to spend each day.

Become aware of where you are spending or squandering this most precious resource.  Maybe you decide you have some energy you are happy to give, make sure this is your decision freely and it is not just taken from you.  With the rest of your energy, where do you wish to invest it so that it truly gives you a return? “Life truly is a manifestation of where we invest our energy” Monk Dhandapani.

 

4) Guard your heart and your mind

As a business owner do you feel open slather to feedback?  Does the noise get confusing? Decide who your trusted people are.  The ones you can discuss ideas and concerns with and catch up with them regularly.  Know precisely the effect these people have on you, so you know whom to go to for what.  

One may fill you with the courage to face the hard stuff, another may be years ahead of you in business and is a wealth of knowledge, another may be good at challenging your BS, and another is a great listener.  Recognize what you need at any given time and go to the right person.

 

The Mysterious Case of the Twisted Knickers by Kirsten Macdonald Ponderings Magazine Australia

Keep this a win-win. Know what you have to offer others and give back freely to those in this circle. If feedback is delivered from an unreliable source, let it bounce off

 

5) Spend time with yourself and be gently honest

Take time out to reflect and check in.  It is good business practice to meet regularly with staff.   Please make sure they are ok, meeting their work requirements, are on track, have everything they need.   Do this with yourself. Have a weekly checklist that you run yourself past and ask yourself the same questions.  

Doing a checklist regularly will make sure you don’t stray far. It is important to stay honest with yourself, for you won’t be able to fix or move past things you don’t acknowledge.   

 

My parting advice to others and it doesn’t just apply to business- be smart, not impressive.  

So much looks and sounds great in our society and that is all they are- a facade.  If things you are doing do not add value or money to your business, or if they do not bring you pleasure or satisfaction, if they do not pass your fail-proof question, if they waste your precious energy, if it only  impresses those who don’t know better and most importantly if it doesn’t add up when you take an honest look, let the illusion and the person presenting the illusion go.

 

About our Ponderer:  

Mariesa Lauder is a thought leader in the hairdressing and beauty industry. Her reputation in the hairstyling profession, reinforced by the latest technical training and innovative thinking has created a stellar platform for business success. Brene Brown is one of her key influencers in life and Mariesa’s inspirational attitude and dedication to overcoming “road blocks” in life make her a favorite of ours. Nurture, inspiration and professionalism are the principal focus of the “Jomara Business Woman” culture.

 

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The Survivors Guide to Most Excellent News

Not everyone will respond like you. Ok, I am serious, you might think you can fart gold stars, but not everyone will see it that way.

The Survivors Guide to Most Excellent News

The Survivors Guide to Most Excellent News

Ponderings Online Magazine The Survivor's Guide to Most Excellent News by Kirsten Macdonald

So you have excellent news? Exciting news? The kind of news where you won tattlotto of the life kind. You found out a life threatening condition just healed, you are going to live! Well, you might have some ideas on how that one is going to roll, so here’s a little help.

 

1) Not everyone will respond like you. Ok, I am serious, you might think you can fart gold stars, but not everyone will see it that way.

 

2) Spontaneous dance is completely fine.

 

3) Going into a flight center and telling a poor young random man that you aren’t going to die anymore is not okay. He cried. Not cool. And you didn’t book the trip to Paris with him, again, not cool.

 

4) Buying a ballet barre for shits and giggles when it doesn’t have anywhere to go- rethink that one.

 

5) Take deep breaths. Be prepared for a shock. Hot water bottles will be needed, blankets and a good dose of sister love. A sedative may help.

 

6) Be prepared for the dreams. Your little red car might turn into an airplane, and you might fly to some REALLY cool places. It might have been the sedative and pizza combo, but that’s ok.

 

7) Don’t downplay God to anyone. Not one time. You asked for this miracle, and you got it. You don’t ask the chef for the best parmigiana in the world and then double check it’s what you asked for. Also, don’t take claim responsibility for cooking the parmigiana. You are sitting at the table. You might have walked into the restaurant and known which table to sit at, you might understand what goes in it my dear, but you did not cook it. Note: in giving thanks for the miracle you are also giving thanks for self-understanding, for a surgeon who spent 25 years learning about brains and dared to give it a crack. You are giving thanks for listening to your body, and it’s requests.

 

You are not leaving out modern medicine, but you do however also know that science has not yet caught up to the stunning underpinning cosmos reasons for existence and rapid physical healing. They are 30 years off. It’s a quantum thing. It’s not always rational. The earth isn’t flat people.

 

8) When you tell your child you are not going to die from an aneurysm rupture, he might say to you we need Weetbix, and the dog crapped in the outdoor area. Its ok, don’t take it personally he loves you. He just loves Weetbix as well.

 

9) You might be allowed to run now but don’t do it until your lung fills with blood. It feels good to run, but your sciatica needs TLC, and your Foofa valve does too.

 

10) Don’t grin at strangers when you are in your convertible. You might be telepathically telling them you are so happy you are alive, and your aneurysm just, and they said they couldn’t do anything, and then it just healed…and last night your car was a plane. Basically, you are just going to look like an arsehole driving a red sports car who is very pleased with themselves. Road rage is real. Just don’t.

 

11) Do not dilute your happiness. You will be tempted too. Not everyone else likes joy. Some people even break out in rashes and may start twitching. There is an epi pen for that- it is called the front door and a foot.

 

12) People will be joyful with you, they will cry for you and with you, they will send you flowers, messages and may even spontaneously dance with you. Keep those ones, in fact, chain those humans to your foot before they get away. Or pop them in your pocket. You just identified your tribe.

 

13) Be ready for the rollercoaster. You might have thought a joyful cry, and a high five would be the best, and you would just get on with your life. This doesn’t happen. You will meltdown. It’s what happens when you try and keep your shit together for more than 3 years with an impending rupture of the artery that supplies your entire brain with blood and was hanging on by a thread in a big mess threatening your life and a stroke on a daily basis, causing PTSD for family and seizures, migraines, TIA’s, brain bleeds, blackouts, chronic sleep apnea and the fear of being left in a vegetative state getting Sunday visits from your children while you suck liquified lamb cutlets through a straw- is now a reformed wonder.

 

There will be tears of happiness, tears of sorrow, tears of grief, tears of relief, anger and gratitude. A whole lot of liquid will spill from your deep internal soul and kleenex might not cut it. Try the super roll of toilet paper and an even a maxi pad?

 

14) Don’t go into your teenage son’s bedroom each morning ripping open the curtains with gusto and announce you are ALIVE, you might think you are a Disney princess with a bird singing on your shoulder. But you are in fact a very disheveled middle-aged woman with a tracksuit wedgie and yesterday’s eyeliner smudged. There will be consequences. He will tell you to get out.

 

15) As much as you think every song that comes on the radio is an anthem just for you, it isn’t. It really isn’t. But that’s okay. This does activate that spontaneous smiling and dancing response, this is good for your soul.

 

Most importantly wake up tomorrow and kiss the ground and give praise to God, because my dear, your life is yours and it will never be the same again.

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Outspoken – The Voice of Justice

Outspoken – The Voice of Justice

Outspoken by Fr Tod Bower Ponderings Magazine Australia

by Fr. Rod Bower

 

There are twelve minutes and four seconds of my life of which I have no actual memory.

That is the length of time I stood on the stage at the International Convention Center in Sydney delivering my TEDx talk.

There seems to be a gap in the space/time continuum between the second the stage manager said ‘go’ to the moment my appointed minder asked ‘can I get you anything?’ It’s not that I am ‘unaccustomed to public speaking.’

I do it all the time. There was more than six months notice, weeks of preparation and days of rehearsals; it’s just that the bar is set so high.

There seems to be a focus and intensity to a TED talk that doesn’t exist in any other forum.

As I left the stage my response to my minders question was simple; ‘water,’ I was just so dry in the mouth that it’s a wonder that I could speak at all.

Perhaps that’s why TED talks are so popular; we are parched, thirsty for well-considered thoughts, honed arguments tested and reviewed reflections were deliberations have been distilled to their essence.

 Presentations where we know people have given deep thought to their subject and have not only already been challenged on their content, but are willing to open themselves up to further criticism.

So there was TEDx and then came a book release.

As Kirsten put it “how could you ever imagine placing a message on your church sign could lead to these things?”

Fr Rod Bower Ponder Kindness on Church Board

Kirsten asked me what inspired me to write the book. The question the strikes fear in the heart of most authors is this actual question. In my case, the superficial but truthful answer is “Penguin Random House asked me too.

However, as I took up the challenge from the publisher a deeper and more complex reason emerged.

Outspoken became an answer to a parishioners question “Why are you different to all the other priests we have had in the parish before?”

Outspoken is the story of how I came to see that social order without justice is nothing more than tyranny and how and why I felt compelled to do something about it.

I hope that by telling my personal story, others may be inspired to reflect on their own stories and learn how order and justice might be better partners in the dance that leads to a more just society for all.

Because of my story, I see everything from the perspective of an outsider. This  has given me a particular empathy for those who are marginalized by a society that values order over justice. I hope Outspoken contains something contagious for the reader and the world becomes infected with compassion.

From Penguin: “Dear Christians. Some PPL are gay. Get over it. Love God.’ On 24 July 2013, Anglican priest Rod Bower put up these words on the roadside sign of his Gosford parish church. Sparking a social media revolution. The post was shared thousands of times – suddenly the one-time butcher was on the public stage.

Today Fr Rod has close to 65,000 followers on social media. He uses this platform to raise questions about Australia’s corporate soul, to assert that we are all brothers and sisters – asylum seekers, Muslims, those identifying as LGBTI, Indigenous Australians …And for such messages, the death threats pour in. How did a shy adopted kid from the country become this steadfast conscience of our nation, preaching both peace and disruption? Part life story, part love story, part manifesto, Outspoken describes evolution as surprising as are Fr Rod’s views about Christianity.

Utterly frank, both philosophical and funny, this is a singular book by a singular person. It illuminates the life and work of the man behind those signs.” To get  your copy go to: Penguin Books

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The Secret Language of Tiffany

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The Ferris Bueller soundtrack is playing on Spotify, Twist and Shout sounds so good on a Saturday.  

The sun has finally decided to show up, and I am sitting here, fingers to the ready- heart on a wire and full to the very edge of the teacup with feeling. Is it a safe time to write? The new discovery for me is- yes. These are the times when the writing comes easily, flowing from brain to page like an overzealous child- all vulnerability has sidestepped when this takes place. She has taken off, shaking her head in disgust. I ignore her. We need to give her a name. She is the hider of the Freak Flag, she doesn’t like it when I fly it. We shall name her Sargeant Tiffany. She’s no fun.

Tiffany the fun police

It is a big week for us. For me.

It either has the potential to go either way- a crazy game of Sliding Doors and what’s behind door 27? Shall we peek? Let’s not think about it. Let us think about it non-stop. Distraction, distraction…Hello, Monday you wonderous creature.

There are several options on offer Monday at the Hospital. Are you ready Madame?

Option 1: This revolting thing in my brain has actually completely stabilized, which means is still sitting there like the terminator with its finger on the trigger, but the finger stopped getting itchy.

Option 2: The bugger has gone. I repeat the A-hole has left the building. See you later alligator, astalavista. Like a magical butterfly and the power of all healing, it is completely gonesky, which means I can just die like mostly everyone else- unexpectedly.

Option 3: It has sprouted some new leaks which means more brain surgery. This means getting really fat again because of steroids. This is not an option. I love a good rolly polly belly like anyone else, but enough already.

Option 4: Some wonder human somewhere on this planet has come up with a way to fix it. Let’s call him Bob.

Option 5: I don’t go, and I pretend everything is perfectly peachy. This is a very tempting albeit stupid. I have done this multiple times. It stops me thinking about the D word. No one likes that word. No matter how enlightened we believe we are. No one likes a D word dropper.

Option 6: I’m still pondering on this one…I will keep you posted. At the moment it resembles smoking a joint with Willie Nelson and playing with a basket of baby Sloths. I can’t technically smoke a joint so I might be on rolling duties for Willie. That’s ok. I can roll a mean paper (don’t judge me, I had to roll my dad’s cigarettes ok?)

Sloth Ponderings Kirsten Macdonald

This resilience thing is mad.

Yesterday I stood at my sink, elbow deep in this beautiful new grandma sink, fired in France, beautiful fireclay, deep and shiny. I hated washing dishes, now it’s like a lovely bath. Blue eyes stood next to me drying the dishes.

“You ok?”

“I don’t want to die.”

“I don’t want you to die either.”

“Well, that’s good. Because if you did, that would kind of suck. Lucky you still like me.”

“How can I not? You make me laugh.”

“It’s not very fair any of this is it?”

“Nope.”

“I am feeling sorry for myself.”

“Me too.”

“I just want it to be fixed and never think about it anymore. It’s taking up too much space in my brain.” I am good at puns.

Then Hilltop Hoods Cosby sweater starts playing, and he does the dance that makes me laugh too hard. There is some pelvic thrusting that is slightly off rhythm and this thing he does with his butt.

How did we become this resilient?

We talk about it a bit. As we get older, the conflicts between humanity become more obvious. The bigger things mean more to us. The need for emotional intelligence suddenly becomes the focus and not the mortgage. It occurs to me that the friction of humanity is the cause of joy and pain.

Echoes of the inflictions of childhood build walls of muscle and grit- a toolbox of tricks that can protect us and then trip us up. All in one- a double doozy. The perseverance and seeking of peace propel us forward if we are brave enough to break open the armor and bare our skin. Telling old Sargent Tiffany of vulnerability police that it is ok to show vulnerability and truth.

Leaderboard Ponderings 2

It is vulnerability and truth and being aware of the silent witness within that breaks us into freedom. Deep huh? Hey don’t analyse mine, check out your own muscles, those suckers are there, along with a peacepipe and a marching band. So many situations rely on those muscles, and then we need to break free of them. All sorts of circumstances, in all walks of life. 

The opposite of this is building a romance with defense.

Gathering evidence to keep ourselves safe. The internal bodyguard becomes a jailer. Whispering platitudes, distractions, and conflicts on replay. Playing back all the old vinyl with their scratches and grooves. Maybe it’s time to sharpen the needle, to play the real music and stop whistling everyone else’s tune.

I have realized I don’t like significance. Weird huh? I love it when other people wear it like a beautiful cape or jacket- but it’s never looked delicious on me. It makes my skin feel ick.

I do not want to be significant. The feeling creates anger within. Why? 

If I am sick- it is significant. If I suddenly become miraculously well- this is also significant.

Both matter. Both have weight. I don’t like the weight. I learned very young that importance of not being too significant- to go under the radar. I don’t do it very well, but it is a primal part of my core belief system. These feelings of deep anger are being triggered by the romance of defense. So I write these words fiercely as if I am paddling as fast as I can in rapids, something pushes me forward. The anger is not good. It makes me angry. The irony is deafening.

Leaderboard Ponderings 3

The cognitive pieces of the puzzle are slowly coming together. Stealth mode can kick in at any time, so watch it. I cannot control it. 

Tiffany just sat down in front of me looking very dazed and confused, she just dropped her badge on the table and asked me why I was writing this piece of communication? Who is it for? 

Tiffany the Vulnerable Police

The introvert-extrovert pendulum is swinging like a crazy monkey on a swing with a banana.

I am not an angry human as a rule. It doesn’t sit very well in my body. But I am a writer. So what does one do in this situation? She writes, prints and rolls it up, placing into a very groovy hipster bottle, it is some kind of pharmacy bottle from the 1940’s, pop a cork in the end and throws it out into the sea, watching the waves take it to whoever feels they may like to read it. I just wrote about myself in the third person. It’s a Ferris Bueller thing to do.

Then I get off the car in the middle of the street, the marching band and street parade has gone home.

So I go to my candle, and I pray. The anger has gone. Just like that. With a request and a chord of silver shooting to the architect. I am grateful for life. A big fat full life. The little version of blue eyes comes out and asks if I would like a cup of tea. The middle blessing is smiling getting ready for a party, very handsome. The eldest, the strong and vibrant young woman is finishing an essay. We did ok. We did more than ok. We are here and that sun is shining.

I stop typing, and then there’s that Ferris soundtrack. Hey ustj-ay no-ay het-ay- uietqay- does anyone have Willie Nelson’s phone number?

To read the latest from StevieAnne Minner Click Here.

Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au

LIFELINE: https://www.lifeline.org.au

BRAIN FOUNDATION: http://brainfoundation.org.au

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