Tyler Durdon and Jingle Bells

Christmas was lovely, truly quiet, memorable and overwhelming. I was very very pleased and grateful to be with my family this Christmas. Honestly how lame does that sound? Pleased and Grateful, biggest understatement of the year. It was so huge in my heart I thought it would break in half the sight of my kids unwrapping their gifts. Having dinner at the table and saying grace I thought I would burst into tears. It felt like every atom in my body was grateful and split . I am being very honest, it hurt a little and it felt amazing. Everything feels a little bit different these days and I feel like I am getting used to new skin, nothing is as it was and I doubt it ever will be again.

So now Christmas is fading with a very large wilting Christmas tree that has seen better days and looks like a hungover Grandpa. How would I know? I’ve seen a few of them over the Chrissy break! (Grandpas) and New Years is upon us as well as the lengthy school holidays.

The school holidays are smack bang here in my house. I have looked forward to these holidays for months. What was I thinking? Its a bit like labour with subsequent children, you forget about the pain of labour and the intensity and then you get your second contraction; what in the name of god was I thinking?

Week 3 and I don’t know what your house is like, mine is like Mortal Kombat revisited with a touch of Fight Club and Big Bang Theory, its an interesting combination. Tis the season for Verbal Annihilation; “ITS MY TURN…..MUUUUUUM!”
So I am left with a couple of options
A) I can keep them so busy they don’t even have time to whisper “water” and they fall into bed exhausted at the end of the day, whilst at the same time I wipe out my bank balance
B) put up a homemade boxing ring in the lounge room, give them some gloves, lock myself in the bedroom and drink G&Ts until their father gets home.

I’m kidding, I think its really healthy for them to debate, learn some compromising skills and battle out the details of some fair trade agreements. So far we have Gordon Gekko, Barnaby Joyce and quite possibly Margaret Thatcher in process, its going to get totes interesting… (see what I mean…im even starting to sound like them) lol

Do you ever imagine other families and think surely they must be sitting around singing kumbaya and plaiting each other’s hair? A monopoly game here has the scale to turn into a power house take down on global proportions. I sometimes look at other families and compare. Comparison, now there’s a finicky word, you can sink your teeth into that one, its very sinewy and likely to get caught in your teeth. I ponder how much of the human race’s issues come from Comparison? Gosh there’s a thesis in that!

Just the other day I heard someone over drinks talk enviably with a teency dash of sharp edge-ness “Oh they’re loaded, more money than they can sniff at.” Like it was a bad thing. It gets me thinking about everything being relative… Comparisons can always be made, its infinite, like colours having different shades. Just because my red is bright red doesn’t mean your crimson is any less red. It is still red, its just different. That person’s annual income might be more than mine, but mine will be more than the homeless man living in a shelter, and his may be higher than a child living in Toga West Africa living in squalor drinking filthy water. It goes on and on.

I have a friend who has done quite a few Army tours who has told me a lot of places he has travelled to that are on the appearance of being very poor are the happiest! The smiles are bigger, their apparently first appearance joyfulness is contagious! I know people that have very limited current financial means (which is just a polite way of saying they arent $ wealthy) and yet they are the happiest people I know. I also know folks who are ridiculously well off through good choices and hard work who are some of the most generous and loving people I know. You could on and on huh? Crazy healthy people with unhealthy attitudes compared to very unwell people with busting healthy mental attitudes that weather any storm. What is my point? Well I guess I could write thousands of comparisons and you could think of them. Where would it get us? Nowhere. Zilcho. Naught. You catch my lingo? I think I am scrambling my way to a point here somewhere…
I think if you compare yourself to others, or measure yourself against other people all the time, or care about what other people might think all the time its quite possible that you are not going to have the most accurate of measuring sticks are you? How long is a piece of string? Infinite possibilities, and while you are running that piece of string in knots in your mind and twining it around conversations you are wasting precious energy and time. Because a lot of people have a hard enough time running their own lives, what makes them an expert on you or yours? Trust me, it doesn’t cure cancer, pay your credit card bill, solve world hunger, shrink aneurysms, find lost socks or make a cup of tea.

There is the exception to the rule though, I think if someone who you REALLY trust to tell you the truth and who cares about you tells you in a delicate way that you have revolting B.O. going on, well that is possibly something to consider. Its a bit of a deal breaker. No ones likes a smelly nelly and BO permeates everything…like a bad attitude.

I am guilty of it, comparison not B.O (she armpit sniffs as she types) and the occasional neurosis that started in High school. Will they like it? Do they like me? Did I say the right thing? Was that ok? Am I ok?

I am not one for New Year’s Resolutions, but as I go into 2015 i might go in dressed with a new coat that will not be measured by anyone else but me, trusting my own inner voice with the anticipation of a multitude of joyful moments and milestones.

Can you believe its 2015 in less than 10 hours? Man I remember wondering in 1994 what the year 2000 would be like. I honestly thought they would have a hover board by now, or Jetson cars. Thank goodness they have Flow Diverters and Apple phones huh? 2015…wow. I shall call it the year of the Concave Polygon and teach my children to hold hands and sing Kumbaya.

Have a safe and wonderful New Years Eve peeps. Be a lamp that burns brightly for all that is good and joyfu, and if you can’t be joyful may the corners of your mouth tilt slightly upwards towards your ears at least a couple of times a day x

Thank you so much for your support and good wishes, reading and sharing my blog. I am really enjoying sharing with you and our ponderings. Remember you can comment below the blog if you feel like it.
Blessings to you and Yours,
Kirsten

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